And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt. ~Sylvia Plath

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Maura's Friends for Change

I have been challenged today.  Somewhere between getting Bill's lunch made at 6:00 this morning (because the nyquil made me forget last night), getting the kids off to school and rushing off to my 2 hour meeting that I had to get to before I went in to the office today... I forgot to enjoy my morning. I forgot to take a few breaths and just let myself be. 

I forgot that the most important moments, are not getting ready, and having everyone's hair done and their clothes perfect.  But kissing my husband through the glass shower door before he leaves, and getting that first overly warm hug from Samantha as she bounds into my room with her blanket with a smile on her face, or seeing Phebe's ever growing adorable leg hanging over the side of the bed as she resists getting up for another day.  I think you get the point.

How much different if your day was mostly focusing on those moments, or on the people around you?   That is what I was thinking in the car on the way home.   I started thinking about all the things that we are told not to do.  Don't lie, cheat, or steal.  Don't litter, waste water, or throw away something that can be recycled.  We are surrounded my don't.  

Let's instead focus on DO.  Do be honest.  Do stop when you see someone in need.    Do kiss your kids everyday.  Do kiss your spouse everyday.  Do enjoy the little moments.  Do let your family know how much they are wanted and loved. 

What is ONE thing you can DO today?  Just decide and do it!

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Baking my way through the fall

I love the first few days of fall, the intricate mix of crisp air and crunchy leaves.  I love to leave the windows open and let the house get cold while I am cuddled under a blanket drinking tea.  Most people go through spring cleaning, while I tend to go through fall cleaning.  I like to reorganize my house, clean and bake, and cook, and in the process make things more homey.  

This year I really dove in, I had 3 closets reorganized, the whole house cleaned and then had 2 days of glorious baking.   I was not alone in this endeavor, Tania came over, and together we made snickerdoodles, pumpkin pie, apple cranberry pie, chocolate chip cookies, oatmeal raisin cookies and pumpkin pudding.   My house smells absolutely decadent, like cinnamon, pumpkin, cookies and butter.   

I was particularly proud of the dinner I made last night, a homemade tomato sauce with bowtie pasta that Bill tried and liked despite the fact that there were hunks of tomato in it.   I also, did not get ANY complaints from the kids which means it was a success!  

My next endeavor is going to by far be my best.  I am making a hop scotch cake for Phebe's birthday.  This particular cake is Martha Stewart, and looks particularly difficult.   I have to make my way around parchment paper, and all of a sudden know how to decorate a cake.  I am going to have to try one first before the party, but I will make it and I will be successful.   I may even post a picture of the finished cake!

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

On things I have to reprimand for, but actually think are hilarious

I am working today, and it is a good day.  There are things to get done, but I am not overwhelmed with tasks. Samantha is playing nicely, talking politely and remember to "hush when mommy is on the phone."   I admit it, I probably started to get cocky.   I was thinking, "Today, today is going to be a great day!"

I am the only one at the office, besides Samantha, and she is going down for her nap in my dad's office on the floor with her blankets, and her sleeping bag.    (Although she is only ten feet away from me, she sleeps better there than she does in here next to me.)   I walk her over to her makeshift bed, and tuck her in.  I kiss her on the forehead and remind her not to touch anything in "Grampy's" office while she is napping.

A few minutes later, over the endless tapping of my fingers at the computer I THINK I here a sort of crinkling noise, so I stop my typing and walk over to her and peak in.  She is sitting quietly, eyes closed, hands outside of the blankets.  She opens her eyes, smiles at me and settles back in to sleep.  Ok, I must have heard something.

I walk back to the computer and continue typing.   Not even a minute later I KNOW, I hear a crinkling noise coming from the other office.  It is a soft, and very slow crinkling, the kind of crinkling that lets all moms know that their child is up to no good.  I stand up quietly, sneak over to my dad's office (a feat if I do say so myself, as I am wearing heels), I peak around the corner and Samantha is completely under her blanket head and all using her ninja like skills to try and fool me.

At this point she knows I am there, and she is frozen under her blanket not moving a muscle hoping she can trick me into thinking she is asleep.   I lean over, pull the blanket off and she has...

Not 1.

Not 2.

But 3, pieces of chocolate from my dad's desk, (which she did not thankfully get open).

I am half tempted to laugh, but I can't because I have to reprimand her for stealing chocolate, and tuck her back in bed.  But, let's face it sometimes when your kid does something that adorably wrong it's just funny.

Edit:  When we got home from work as I was preparing dinner Samantha asked if she could have a piece of broccoli off of the plate before dinner was ready.  I told her sure, she could help herself.  I finished chopping the veggies and turned around to find that she had taken ALL the veggies and put them in front of her because she "was just really hungry for trees."

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Who am I?

Who am I?  What do I do?  Where do I work?  These questions seem so simple, but for me do not afford an easy answer.   I am Maura:  mother, wife, friend, Jesus freak, writer, reader, organizational master mind, workout guru and boo boo healer.     How exactly does this all break down?   Well, I like to think I am creating a brand new mold, a mold for a working stay at home mom.    A mold that brings, "she does it all" to a whole new level.  

Ordinarily there are two types of moms,  working moms, and stay at home moms.   Both types have their own attributes.   I admire both types of mom, after all, when you boil it down at the end of the day we are all doing our best to do one of the hardest jobs in world.  Creating, and raising little people.

When people ask me what I do, I usually first answer that I am stay at home mom. But I always feel the need to clarify this.   My first, and foremost job is mom,  I do all the things that a stay at home mom does, but I do it while working 35 hours a week WITH my kids.  I do work, but I always have the kids with me, allowing me to do both jobs at the same time.    Hence, the new mold. 

I am working on a name for this mold.  Just like barbie who has different molds, stay at home barbie, real estate barbie, I love Ken barbie, Rockstar barbie.    Depending on the day, I can be any of these things:  made it through the day mom, super mom, anxiety attack mom, still has the energy to do one more thing mom, or just mom.

I admit that there are days where I am not sure that I will make it through the day.  I have to find the time to answer all my work emails, make lunches, volunteer at school, have a playdate, make phone calls, and teach Samantha to write her name all within a 2 hour period while keeping a smile on my face despite the fact that I have not eaten anything in hours, I have cookie crumbs in my hair, and my desk is a mess...  Bedtime is usually very joyful on those days.  

I wouldn't trade my life though.  I get the benefit of providing for my family in all ways.  I earn money to help pay for all the things we need, and I get to have my kids with me.  I am not missing all the important things, first words, first steps, first day of school.   I do have the responsibility of doing it all, but then I also get the joy of experiencing it all.

I think the my official title should be:  has it all mom.

Friday, September 10, 2010

On giving up fake sugar

Who knew the journey to give up diet pop, or soda would be such a bumpy road?    I am not a pop-aholic so to speak, but I do like diet pop.   When I was a child, we did not have pop in the house, we didn't drink it.   I remember having 7up at my grandparents house on Christmas and special occasions, but it was not something we drank often.  This is somewhat ironic since my parents were polar opposites when it came to food.  My mom was a health food junkie.  She had us eating wheat germ, and granola, and fruit and veggies.  I remember eating apples with cinnamon for dessert, or one of our family favorites bananas in milk with a little sugar.  My dad on the other hand liked to surprise us on occasion with hard salami, ice cream, and liver sausage.   They were the perfect combination of healthy most of the time, with an indulgence here or there.

I first started drinking pop in high school, and naturally, as a calorie watching female, when I started to buy pop from the vending machine at school, I bought diet.   I only had it once a week, and it was more for the taste than anything else.  I didn't need the caffeine, I was an eager, fresh faced, energetic 16-year-old.  We COULD dip into the crazy fact that I was so eager, I got up to take a zero hour class that started at 7am, but I think that is a blog for another time.

Then I hit college, and eventually had my first baby, my gorgeous little Phebe.    I managed to survive the first year of Phebe's life without having much in the way of caffeine.  I had the occasional cup of tea, and a diet coke when I was at a restaurant because who can resist fountain soda??   But Phebe was easy, she slept, she ate, she smiled.  I do remember a few sleepless mornings where I DID make a pot of coffee.  I drank it and added milk to offset the bitter taste.  Phebe and I- we were two peas in our little pod, chugging along mindlessly.

I did start buying diet pop eventually for the house, for Bill I would say, and I slowly started to drink it.  Pretty soon I had a glass a day, and occasionally two.   I enjoyed it with dinner, or on a hot afternoon.  It was, therefore,  easy to cut cold turkey when I found out sweet little Sammie was on her way.  

It was not until Samantha was born, that I really realized how actually tired I could be.  I used to tell Samantha, "it's a good thing you are pretty" because she came out scream first.  It took every ounce of energy I had in me to survive Phebe's first year of preschool, with a 2 hour commute and a baby that had colic all day long.  A baby who only used me as her pacifier, and I was not allowed the caffeine in coffee, and had to watch how much pop I drank.  Once I stopped nursing,  it did not take long for my one glass a day habit to turn into 2-3 glasses. (honestly, it was sometimes more)

We did all survive though, and Samantha is now a well-adjusted 3-year-old who sleeps 12 hours a night and takes naps.  Evidently, she has sleep to catch up on from those first 7 months.    At some point, we switched over to cans, and I started drinking 1-2 cans a day.     I don't really remember why we switched, except that Tania introduced me to the joy of diet coke with lime from a can.

Is all that fake sugar good for you though? No, not at all.  And be honest with yourselves if you drink regular pop neither is the high fructose corn syrup, and all those calories.    So, I knew it was time to quit and be done while I was ahead, before the aspertame completely kills me.

The last few months I have been weaning myself off of diet pop.  I still indulge once, sometimes twice a week, but for the most part I don't need it.   I was surprised to find that most days I am not tired,but find myself craving the fake sugar.  I was literally addicted to the aspertame.    Not anymore, I am done.    Sure, when I do need caffeine that means back to tea, or coffee (which I do now like) but at least I am done with the fake sugar.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Does it taste bad? It's not you, It's me.....

I like to cook, and bake much to the chagrin of my husband who hates new things, and my children who tend to make a face at everything I make even if they DO actually like it.  He does appreciate that I cook and, to be fair to him, he does always taste what I put on the table even when it is "froofy girl food" i.e food that contains more than 4 ingredients.

The latest recipe that I tried was a delicious vegetarian enchilada that was both healthy, and delicious.  Rice, beans, corn, fresh tomatos...Mmmmm, I can still taste it now.  But new recipes is not really what I wanted to talk about today.   I am an emotional person, more am emotional cooker.  I tend to feel things very strongly, and while I do not always express everything that is going through my head and my heart, often you can tell what I am feeling by what is placed in front of you when I cook.

Have I served you macaroni and cheese with nothing else for dinner, and you being NOT a child?  I am overwhelmed, and the thought of making a dinner pushes me directly over the edge plummeting to my emotional death.   Here is a suggestion for this meal, put your own dishes away when you are done.  No, not in the sink, in the dishwasher.   Technically speaking, I would love that to happen EVERY meal, but realistically I am lucky if that happens once a week.

Sometimes I go full out and serve up a delicious dinner with chicken, and rice, and asparagus all perfectly cooked and perfectly placed on the plate, steam swirling up towards the ceiling.  The table looks great, and I start to feel excited about the prospects of a traditional family dinner.  We can all talk to each other and enjoy each others company.  Usually though these thoughts end abruptly when my family comes into the room and complains about everything that I have so painstakingly prepared for them.   At least one person will refuse to eat at all without a fight, and no one wants to talk to me.

I think the best example that something is horribly wrong is when I start one of the most delicious meals you have ever tasted, or one of our regular, but still delicious meals and by the end of it I am so frustrated that I am burning everything or I just threw in way too much garlic.  Watch out then.  You are all in trouble.