Back to school things

I have to admit that I am struggling a little bit.  Samantha is going into Kindergarten and Phebe is going to Upper Elementary school.   The thought of both of them gone all day five days a week causes a cacophony of emotions for me.   I am excited for them.  Excited for the new experience, and the new friends that they will meet.  I am sad because I think the house will be a little bit more lonely, and a little bit too quiet.   I am overwhelmed, grateful, nervous, and all the things I think every mom is probably feeling at the start of each school year where we are prompted to let go of our babies just a little bit more.  

I know it is good for them.  I know they need the independence, and I know that everything is going to be great.  But I am still allowed to miss them, and I am still allowed hug them fiercely every morning before they go to school.

I do have advice for them this year, and so I am writing it down.

Phebe-

You are amazing.   I have watched you grow over the past year and I am continuously amazed at the young lady you are becoming.   I already miss you, and you haven't even stepped on the bus yet.  If there were one thing that I would want you to know for this year it would be this:  You don't have to be the best, and you don't have to be perfect.  Your dad and I already love you as much as we possibly can.  We are always going to love you, we are always going to be here, and that is never going to change.  You don't need to prove anything to us.   You don't need to be the best at anything, because to us you already are the best.  

Focus this year on being kind, brave, loving, and compassionate.  Be kind to all the new friends you will meet.  Be brave as you face new challenges, meet new people and discover new emotions you haven't experienced yet.  Be a child full of love, and compassion for those around you.   I know you like to lead, and if you lead in love nothing else will matter. 

 You are so wonderfully made, Phebe!  You were made to feel things so much more than other people do, and while that is hard, it is also such an amazing gift!  Trust that God will lead you through this year, and remember that He knows where you are going all you have to do is follow. 

My verse for you this year:  Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and don't depend on your own understanding.  Proverbs 3:5

I love you so much,
Mom


Samantha-

My little Melon.  If I could describe you in one word it would be joy.  You are such an amazing little girl.  It is going to be such a big year for you starting Kindergarten.  I am going to miss you every single moment of every single day.   I have so many little bits I would love to tell you as you start your first year of school, but one thing screams out at me, and that is:  Don't change, but grow.

You are so loving, and so full of kindness.  I don't think I could better equip you if I tried.  God has blessed you with the amazing ability to love people without abandon.  You have an amazing intuition to understand what people need, and I love to see you care for others.  I have learned so much about love from you.  Love your classmates, and show them every kindness you have always shown at home, and nothing else will matter.  

I don't care if you get straight As, and I don't care if you are the best in your class.  You are going to mess up sometimes because life is messy and we all mess up.  That is ok, it is more than ok, it is normal, and we are always going to love you no matter what.  Just get up everyday and know that God can do anything for you.  Anything at all.

My verse for you this year is:  God can do all things.  Matthew 19:26

I love you so much,
Mom

When the forces are against you

May the force be with you, or not as was the case for me yesterday.  I am convinced that sometimes there are forces out there that will try to bring you down in any way possible.  Those are the days where everything is just way more difficult than it has to be.

Yesterday, I had to work both of my jobs, my alarm didn't go off and I missed my devotional time in the morning, Samantha came down with strep, the baby didn't nap, my copies weren't made for the presentation that I had to give, the sound broke on my computer...  I think you get the idea.   I could have just given up.  I could have thrown in the towel and tried again another day.  But I didn't. 

Today, I am here to say that I won.   I made my presentation without the paperwork, I got all my chores done with the baby, and I did it all with a smile on my face, and joy in my heart. 

You lose forces.  You lose.