And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt. ~Sylvia Plath

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Leaving babyhood

I am having a mom moment.   My head is filled with images of tiny sticky little fingers grabbing at my face, soft sweet smiles, babbling, and firsts.  First words, first steps, first foods, first kisses and first smiles.  I love the sweet cuddles I get when the baby is nursing, and the joy I have in being the person they go to when they need comfort.  Why the trip down memory lane? It is all slowly coming to a close.   I am leaving the stage of babyhood, and it could perhaps be forever.

Part of it I am sure has to do with the fact that I am slowly rooting out all the baby stuff in my house.   All the stuff is going to a good home with my sister who is just beginning the journey through the infant years with her first baby and my first niece!

Claire has finally finished nursing, she doesn't play with the baby toys any more.  She is not a cuddly sweet little baby anymore.  She is a busy, bright and happy toddler.  Emphasis on the busy.  She is all about baby dolls, and little people, and following her big sisters around the house.

I am enjoying every single stage that my kids have been at so far, and I know that Claire has many more milestones to reach.  But I am going to miss having a baby around the house.  Leaving this stage I have to admit did not come without tears, and without some sadness.  Ok, some of the things had a lot of tears. Nursing for one is something I will never do again and I admit I loved it.  I loved waking up in the middle of the night and having quiet, cuddly moments with all three of my girls.   I loved the peace and the quiet, and the close bond I developed with all of them.  

My journey is still open-ended as I am not sure if we will adopt, and if we do what age we will be adopting. I know we are not having anymore of our own kids.   I am not sure what God will bring into my life in the future, but I am excited to see what it has in store!

Cheers to you babyhood.  You were amazing.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Martha or Mary

When I was younger my mom made a worship cd.  She wrote the music.  She wrote the lyrics.  She rocked it out.  There was one song about Martha and Mary, and of course their relationship with Jesus.   I do not remember the entire song, or all the verses, but I do remember part of the chorus:  "Martha, Martha, Martha whatcha doin, no thanks I don't want that cup of tea."  The words were spoken by Jesus to Martha.    The song itself used to make my laugh in it's simplicity.   It seemed silly, and in my childhood was one of my mom's more light-hearted songs.  But when I take another look as an adult I can definitely feel the weight of my mom's words the words of Jesus calling me to sit at his feet.

In Luke Chapter 10: 38-42 it says:   " As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one.[a] Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

It is difficult for me to read this passage sometimes because I am not Mary in this scene.  I am not saying that I don't spend time with the Lord.  I read my bible, I spend time in prayer, and I do love quiet time alone with Jesus.   But, in the core of who I am, I am Martha.   If Jesus were to come to my house I would want to serve him coffee, and dinner.  I would want to make him comfortable.  I would want the house to be clean and I would want my kids to behave.  My first thought would not be to sit at his feet.

I am a busy person, and one of my main love languages is acts of service.  I love to serve my family, to serve my husband, to serve in the church, and to serve my friends.   I find it difficult to quiet my mind.   

What an incredible calling though that Jesus gives to Martha, and in extent to all of us.  Stop worrying and sit at his feet.  That is what is important.  Everything else will fall into place.