And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt. ~Sylvia Plath

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Rice and Beans Day 5: The day that broke me.

I have to admit it I started off the week pretty excited.  I was somewhat prideful thinking that I could make it an entire week on rice and beans.  I like rice and beans.  Well, I thought I liked rice and beans.  I am not sure that I will like them again after this week is complete.  Not for awhile anyways.  My pride is gone now.

Let me take a second to tell you what I have been feeling this week.  I am hungry.  Hungry all the time.  I can just eaten another plate of rice and beans and within an hour or two I am hungry again.   I am grumpy, and tired.  I have had a headache every single day.  My stomach hurts every single time I eat.

I know I am not alone in this feeling.  I know that everyone who is doing this experiment with me is feeling all of this on some level.  I know that there millions of people around the world are feeling what I am feeling, but worse.  Way worse.  There are people that have much worse than the little bit of suffering I have had this week.

Day five is the day that brought me to my knees.  Day five is the day that when I turned to God and said I need you today.  I need your strength and I need your guidance today.  I need your help to continue on this journey.  I need you to hold me together.  And I got His response.  He said no, you need to listen.   You need to stay in my presence.  You need to let me work through you today.   You need to stop worrying about what you think you need, and trust me.

So that is what I did.  And I broke.

I reached the level of compassion that surpasses charity.  I cried.  I cried a lot.   I prayed, and I prayed some more.

I cried out of thankfulness when my almost two-year-old daughter asked for more milk, and all I had to do was open the fridge to get her some.  I cried out of compassion when I ate my second meal of rice and beans and my stomach hurt so bad I didn't think I could go anywhere.

We started a thankful list at the beginning of the week.  A list of foods we are thankful for, and things we take for granted every day.  We have added a few items every night.  Items like pizza, fresh fruit, and chicken.  I had a whole new level of joy when my daughter asked to add rice and beans to that list.  Why?   Because she was so thankful that she had rice and beans when there was nothing else. And because she knows by eating the rice and beans she is helping someone who would otherwise have nothing.   "Someone out there is going to have clean water because of me mom.  Just because I ate these rice and beans."

Joy.  That is how day five ends for me....Joy.







Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Rice and Beans Day 3: Cheerful giving?

Day three is here, and I am not going to lie...    I am getting tired of rice and beans.  The good news is I am three days in, I have made it three whole days!   The bad news is that I have four more to go.  It is kind of funny because I start to complain about rice and beans a little bit.  I begin to wonder if I am going to make it an entire week.  And then I remind myself why we are doing this and I am a little ashamed.  

Am I really going to give up?  Can I really not go out of my comfort zone for one week?

The answer to that is no.  I alone, probably could not make it an entire week without cheating.  I am being totally honest here.    I have food in the freezer that I could use, and I have leftover Halloween candy that I could eat.   It wouldn't count towards the money we are saving, and I could argue that it won't hurt anyone if I eat some of it.  But I feel called to do this.  I feel that this week Christ is working through me as I experience this with my family, and with my friends.    It is Christ who is strengthening me enough to do this.   He is the one who extended his grace to me, and now I can extend that grace to others.  

  Below is what I have posted to read whenever I am feeling hungry.   Whenever I feel discouraged because my kids are grumbling about eating rice and beans again.  Whenever I want to remind myself why I am doing this, and whenever I want to pray for those who have taken the journey with me.


“Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
    and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
    and break every yoke?
Is it not to share your food with the hungry
    and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter
when you see the naked, to clothe them,
    and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?
Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
    and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness will go before you,
    and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.
Then you will call, and the Lord will answer;
    you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I."


Isaiah 58: 6-9
#eatlessgivelife

Saturday, November 9, 2013

Rice and Beans: The beginning of the journey

I am staring down an entire week of Rice and Beans.  I am not really sure if I am registering that as a complaint because I have never eaten rice and beans for an entire week before.    I am sure at some point when I am forcing myself to eat rice and beans for breakfast I am not going to 100% enjoy it, but I believe that the spiritual benefits this week are going to far out weigh the discomforts.

The girls and I went to the store and we bought rice, and several different kinds of beans.  (Because you have to have variety in beans, right?)  They are excited to try it out.   Again, I am not sure that they will be excited as the week goes on.  I am trying to include them in the process as much as possible.  We have pinned several recipes on pinterest to try, and I am going to let them help me with the cooking.

I am praying right now that the Lord speaks to my heart, and the heart of my family this week.  That the money we donate from this fast is put to good use.  I am praying for the hearts of the families that are walking down this road with us.  I am praying for the thousands of people that are going to be helped from this project.  That they know that we did this out of love.

Right now I am feeling excited to start, and excited to be a part of something that will bring love and care to so many pepople.  I will let you know as the week goes on what I am feeling.  But for today I will leave you with this!

"God's kingdom isn't about eating and drinking.  It is about pleasing God, about living in peace and about true happiness.  All this comes from the Holy Spirit."  Romans 14:17

#eatlessgivelife

The post where I can feel my wrists again

I did it.   I finished Nano (National Novel Writing Month) in one week.   I cannot believe how much determination it took to get it done.   My best time before was 10 days.  While I am happy to say that I blew that time out of the water.  I also have to say that finishing 50k words in one week was crazy hard.

My story is not entirely complete, but it is almost there.  But don't worry you won't get to read it anytime soon because then I have to begin the tiresome project of editing.  Editing is the part that I do not enjoy.  I am currently working on an editing plan, one that does not involve me neglecting everything else in my life, but will allow me to edit more effectively.

November is a month that I take a little bit more.  It is a month where the extra projects that I like to do around the house go to the wayside.  It is a time when I get to be a little bit selfish, and take time to myself.  Time to myself is something I am not always good at taking.

I am extremely lucky and thankful for my husband.   My husband not only ignores the little bit of extra mess, but he continually tells me how proud he is of me for taking the time to write.   I could never do what I do in November without his help.   He helps me when I need ideas, he helps with the kids, and when I feel like my brain has shut down he is there to push me to write a few thousand more words.

I will write some more this month.  I am determined to finish the end of my novel, but for tonight I am going to sit and enjoy the fact that I met my goal.