Being a mom, and a wife, and having several jobs it is easy to get caught up in the day to day struggles. I wake up and I have an idea in my head of how the day should go. I have a list of things I want to accomplish. I think: Today I will be patient, and kind. Today I will stay focused on the Lord the entire day. I will pray first, think after. I will wake up and spend some much needed time resting in God's presence. Then I will make breakfast and coffee. The kids and I will sit together and eat, and shortly after breakfast everyone will get dressed and we will start the list of things we need to get done that day. If all goes well, we get it all done and even have some extra time to just be together.
I should start by saying that I do have days that go this well. I love these days. They are amazing. It is easy to stay focused. It is easy to stay calm, and patient. I can pray at all times, and even pray more than usual with the girls.
Then there are the other days...
I wake up an hour earlier than my kids to spend some time with God, and within 5 minutes I have been interrupted 6 times. Little feet running around upstairs, or the 2-year-old trying to get out of bed early. I still manage to get some time in, but it is not as relaxing and as fulfilling as it usually is.
Breakfast is chaos. There is spilled milk all over the table and the floor. My blessed 2-year-old is trying to clean up the milk before the dog licks it all up. She of course, doesn't want help. My older two daughters are already at each other's throats. They have chosen to argue over who gets to sit at the head of the table since Dad is still in the shower. I pour myself a cup of coffee, while quietly saying a prayer.
I know what is about to happen when breakfast is over, and everyone has to get dressed and do chores. I know that there will be whining and arguing. I can already tell that today is not going to be an "easy" day. Today is going to be a day where each step of the way is going to be a challenge. Today is going to be a day where my patience is tested every step of the way. Today is likely going to be a day where I raise my voice in frustration at some point when no one is listening when I ask nicely. Today I am going to be so tired by the time my husband comes home that it will be a struggle to be a joyful wife.
I could get stuck in the hard moments. Sometimes I do. Sometimes the struggle of the day overtakes me, and I forget to pray. I forget to breathe. I forget to enjoy the more amazing moments. We all forget sometimes.
Today I am choosing to celebrate.
I am going to celebrate that even though milk was spilled everywhere my daughter offered to clean it up without being asked.
I am going to celebrate that even though my older two fight they love each other more as each day passes.
I am going to celebrate the moment at the end of the day where we sat down to watch a movie and all three of my kids piled on top of me and snuggled in.
I am going to celebrate the moment when I could have yelled, but I didn't.
Most importantly, I will celebrate the fact that through each struggle, and each moment I am choosing to lean more on the Lord. To pray through the harder moments, to call on God's grace for myself and for my kids. I am learning everyday that I cannot do it without Him. I am constantly learning that I don't have to be perfect, but imperfect in the Lord.
