A trip down memory lane

I was inspired today to go through my old blog.  A friend of mine needed access to her old blog and the only way I could remember her user name was to sign in to my account.  In the process of remembering my own user name and password, and wondering how long I wrote at that blog I thought to myself:  I should save this.  These are my words, and my thoughts, and this is my life.  One day someone might want to read this.

I am not saying my words were words to remember, just that maybe one day when I am gone my kids will want to read the things I wrote.  I know that I would love to read a journal of my grandmother's.

My first thought at pulling up this blog was to ooooh and aaaah at the little sweet pictures of my babies faces. I loved reading the sweet things that they were doing at the time.  Then I read what I had written.  I am not a great writer.  I never have been.  I love to write, but I am not always skilled at it.   Some of these blog entries however, made me cringe.    I was not just cringing at the words, but at how hard I was on myself.    I have changed so much since then.  And I wish I could turn back a page in time and instill some of this wisdom on my younger self.

I started from the beginning of my blog (all the way back in 2003).   I was hard on myself as a mom, as a wife, as a friend.  I was hard on myself in general.   I am still hard on myself, but not in the same way.  I know more where to give myself grace, and where to push myself.  I have learned a lot since then, and I am so thankful for it.   I am not perfect in that I am still a perfectionist.   I have a long way to go.  But it is encouraging to see how far I have come.

I made a lot of really tough decisions back then.  Decisions that have affected the rest of my life, and decisions that were not easy to make.  Come to think of it, I don't know a lot of life changing decisions that are actually easy to make because then they wouldn't be life changing.

I hope that by saving these words and by showing them to my daughters one day that they too can learn from me.  They can learn from who I was then, and who I am now.    I do hope that they see that the one thing that hasn't changed is God, my reliance on Him was always constant.   I really did like that part!

This is what I would say to my old self:  I hope that you know that you don't have to be perfect.  Just do your best and the rest is going to be fine.  Ask for more help.   Let people in to the hard parts of your life because other people are going to help you get through it.  Let the little things go, and remember that there is always tomorrow.  Love yourself for who you are no matter what evil words other people are feeding you.  Keep being silly and laughing.  Your joy is infectious and amazing.   And lastly, Use spell check it is there for a reason!

Praying for your husband- A week long challenge!

I have an amazing husband.   He is other than my children, the most important person in my life.  We daily walk together, we parent together, we live together, we spend our time together.   I could not think of a better person to be praying for every-single-day.

It is really easy to forget to pray for your spouse.  There are so many things going on in life, and so many things to pray for that sometimes I think your husband (or wife) can take a backseat.   I am going to offer up a challenge to all of you out there.   Can you pray for your spouse every day for a week?   Ask God to open up your heart, and you will see the power in praying for your spouse!

Here are 5 suggestions, or jumping off points if you will.   These are the things that I pray for my husband every morning while I am making breakfast before he leaves for work.

1.  Respect, Grace and Compassion.  I pray that God make me the kind of wife that always my husband would want.  A wife that respects him.  A wife that has grace when he makes mistakes as we all do, and a wife that is full of compassion.   I am not perfect, and there are moments where I am not filled with grace and compassion, but it is something I strive for every day.

2. To be the Man that God called him to be- The head of our house hold.  I believe it is so important to support your husband as God calls him.  I pray that my husband find the path that God has laid out for him, and that he has a peace about the decisions he makes every day.  I pray that God is at work in his heart, and his mind as he faces all his daily challenges and struggles.

3.  To know that he is loved no matter what.  I pray that my husband know that God loves him.  I pray that he understands the vastness of God's grace and God's abounding love.  I pray for him to be living from approval and not for approval. (A quote I stole my from my pastor.)  I also pray that he knows that I love him.  No matter what, no matter the circumstances.  

4.  In Thanks! How easy is it to forget to just simply thank God for your husband?  Spend a few minutes thanking God for the amazing man that he has given you!

5.  For his requests.  I often times talk to my husband about what he needs me to pray for.  The answers that are weighing on their hearts might surprise you!  Go ahead and ask what they want you to pray for.


I know that there is power in a prayerful spouse.   God is there and He answers.    Open up your hearts for the week and see what changes can happen!!

Leaving babyhood

I am having a mom moment.   My head is filled with images of tiny sticky little fingers grabbing at my face, soft sweet smiles, babbling, and firsts.  First words, first steps, first foods, first kisses and first smiles.  I love the sweet cuddles I get when the baby is nursing, and the joy I have in being the person they go to when they need comfort.  Why the trip down memory lane? It is all slowly coming to a close.   I am leaving the stage of babyhood, and it could perhaps be forever.

Part of it I am sure has to do with the fact that I am slowly rooting out all the baby stuff in my house.   All the stuff is going to a good home with my sister who is just beginning the journey through the infant years with her first baby and my first niece!

Claire has finally finished nursing, she doesn't play with the baby toys any more.  She is not a cuddly sweet little baby anymore.  She is a busy, bright and happy toddler.  Emphasis on the busy.  She is all about baby dolls, and little people, and following her big sisters around the house.

I am enjoying every single stage that my kids have been at so far, and I know that Claire has many more milestones to reach.  But I am going to miss having a baby around the house.  Leaving this stage I have to admit did not come without tears, and without some sadness.  Ok, some of the things had a lot of tears. Nursing for one is something I will never do again and I admit I loved it.  I loved waking up in the middle of the night and having quiet, cuddly moments with all three of my girls.   I loved the peace and the quiet, and the close bond I developed with all of them.  

My journey is still open-ended as I am not sure if we will adopt, and if we do what age we will be adopting. I know we are not having anymore of our own kids.   I am not sure what God will bring into my life in the future, but I am excited to see what it has in store!

Cheers to you babyhood.  You were amazing.

Martha or Mary

When I was younger my mom made a worship cd.  She wrote the music.  She wrote the lyrics.  She rocked it out.  There was one song about Martha and Mary, and of course their relationship with Jesus.   I do not remember the entire song, or all the verses, but I do remember part of the chorus:  "Martha, Martha, Martha whatcha doin, no thanks I don't want that cup of tea."  The words were spoken by Jesus to Martha.    The song itself used to make my laugh in it's simplicity.   It seemed silly, and in my childhood was one of my mom's more light-hearted songs.  But when I take another look as an adult I can definitely feel the weight of my mom's words the words of Jesus calling me to sit at his feet.

In Luke Chapter 10: 38-42 it says:   ^" As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one.^[a] Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

It is difficult for me to read this passage sometimes because I am not Mary in this scene.  I am not saying that I don't spend time with the Lord.  I read my bible, I spend time in prayer, and I do love quiet time alone with Jesus.   But, in the core of who I am, I am Martha.   If Jesus were to come to my house I would want to serve him coffee, and dinner.  I would want to make him comfortable.  I would want the house to be clean and I would want my kids to behave.  My first thought would not be to sit at his feet.

I am a busy person, and one of my main love languages is acts of service.  I love to serve my family, to serve my husband, to serve in the church, and to serve my friends.   I find it difficult to quiet my mind.   

What an incredible calling though that Jesus gives to Martha, and in extent to all of us.  Stop worrying and sit at his feet.  That is what is important.  Everything else will fall into place. 

Vacation or bust

Some of you might not know this, but my family and I do not go on a lot of vacations.  We have not had the opportunity to go on vacation just the 5 of us in a really long time.  To be completely honest, the last vacation that we took just with our family was when Bill and I took our oldest daughter to Atlanta when we got married.   Two kids, a house, a dog and a lifetime later we have just returned home from Frankenmuth!  We had a great time!

Side note:  I am so incredibly thankful for my family who so generously shares with us the opportunity to go with them to the family cottage in the summer so that we can enjoy a vacation with our entire extended family.  :)

Early Thursday morning, we threw all of our luggage into the car and made the hour and half drive to Frankenmuth Splash Village.  This hotel was amazing.  The hotel has an incredible splash pad with water slides and dumping buckets, etc.  The splash village had so many components that for the three days we were there we hardly ever stopped swimming and we never got bored.

I of course, having gone to Frankenmuth as a kid  wanted to go to the Chicken dinner and walk around in the little shops for a few hours to do some window shopping.   Our second day there we dragged the kids out of the pool and all got dressed and went into downtown.  The event started off a little rough because the baby was so tired and she kept attempting to crawl out of her stroller.     After about 40 minutes of window shopping we decided just to go to dinner because the kids were starting to whine and the baby was hungry.  

I have to admit in a perfect world, I would have made it to all the shops and made my kids try the chocolate cheese which tastes terrible.  Alas, the kids had different plans so we went straight to dinner.

At dinner the seams started to unravel.  Samantha began to cry.   She cried at the drop of a hat.  If she didn't like what was brought to the table she cried, if a crayon fell on the floor she was distraught, if Phebe even looked at her she had tears streaming down her face.    Phebe added to the fun by having an attitude about chicken.  If the chicken even dared to touch her plate, she would....  I don't know what would have actually happened if the chicken touched her plate.   Claire of course, seized the opportunity to add to the fun.  She grabbed anything within a 3 foot radius and chucked it on the floor, or at Bill.  She was throwing herself out of the booster seat and climbing the walls of the booth.   To top it off Claire got a bloody nose right there at the table.

As you can imagine my rope was unraveling fast.   We just wanted to go to one nice dinner.  Why were my normally well behaved kids acting like a pack of wild hyenas?

"We just can't have nice things."  I said to Bill as I burst out laughing.   He responded with something equally as funny and we laughed.  How could I not laugh?  We had officially hit that point on vacation where the kids are so tired that everything causes a meltdown and all they need is a good nights sleep.  We cleaned our stuff up from the table, and went back to the hotel.  On our way back, I reveled in the fact that I had now experienced another parenting moment.  An important milestone.  And I thanked God for giving me the humor to enjoy it.

Random Acts of Prayer

I love my mom.  One of the things that she taught me as a child was to pray fervently.   She prayed in the car, the shower, at the table, even in her frustration she prayed out loud.   This is one of the most important traditions that I hope to pass down to my children.   I admit that I am a fervent prayer.   I do not always, however pray out loud.  I think because my mother was such a powerful woman of God I have often times felt intimidated to pray out loud.   I am working on getting over this fear, however, and here are some of the ways I am trying to seize the opportunity to pray.

1.  Every time we hear a siren.  This one my mom passed down to me.  We always took a moment to pray for the emergency teams whenever we saw an accident, or heard some sirens driving by.

2.  Prayers of praise.  It is surprisingly simple to stop and pray a short prayer of thanks multiple times a day.  My kids love this one because we thank God for the good things that have happened all day.

3.  License plate prayers.  This is a new one that I absolutely love.  I pray for people that are driving with me.  It started a few weeks ago when I noticed the same license plate of a little old man who is always on route with me in the morning.  I see his car a few times a week and whenever I do I pray for the man who drives the car with license plate XXX XXX.  I have branched out and on every drive I pick one person I see and pray for them.  You never know what God is going to do with that prayer.  

4. Facebook prayers.  I pray for friends on facebook.  I pray for everyone who I see is having a bad day, or a struggle.  Sometimes I pray for someone who is having a great day, but facebook keeps us so connected why not use it for prayer?

5.  Praying out loud with groups of people.  One of the things I have learned is that praying out loud is more important than worrying about the words, or if I stumble over what to say.  It doesn't matter if I am the most eloquent and well spoken person in the room.  Lifitng up my voice to the Lord is enough.

6.  PUSH prayers.  This is a new idea that a friend gave me.  Basically, PUSH stands for Pray Until Something Happens.  I have a list of 5 PUSH prayers.  I pray for these 5 things constantly, and when something happens I update my list.  

Other ways you can pray:

Pray before meals, pray for leaders, pray for your children at schoo,l, pray for unborn children etc.   Just get to praying!!


^" Rejoice always,  pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus."

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Bliss

It is one of those calmer days.  The days that exist quietly in between all the days of chaos.  I love these days.   The kids got to stay in their pajamas all morning, and we made birthday pancakes.    I got to sit at the table with them and sip my coffee as I watched them laugh, and giggle and lick frosting off of their forks with wild abandon.  I can't sit all day because I am not built that way so after working out, (and showering so as not to offend my family) I got to enjoy my youngest being a hyena baby, and crawling all over me.   I was showered with kisses and she giggle and loved just being in her Mommy's lap.  Who wouldn't love that?

The kids and I got to go grocery shopping all together, and we all got to pick out our own box of cereal.  I of course, picked raisin bran because I love raisins, but the kids picked a lot more sugary options because I am a total softy and why not let them eat sugary cereal every once in awhile.  We took our time to look at the fish, and pick out some new food for the hamster.  The baby of course, tried to eat her socks.

We have played with friends, danced around the house, played some games, and now I am stealing my own personal quiet moment while the baby naps.   Decaf coffee, the ability to blog, and listen to my children playing happily.   This is bliss.