I fail my own challenge

 This blog is actually, about 2 weeks old now, but for some reason it never posted, and I felt like it would be nice for it to have made it to the actual blog.  Following blog notwithstanding I am fine.  It was just a bad day, and bad days happen.  :)


So, I am about to embark on one of the best kinds of blogs.  The kind that you write during a complete mental breakdown where you know you are going to write stuff that doesn't make any sense, and that people will get that small window into your mind, you know the place, the deep dark place where all the jumbled up messes sit that you have not had a chance to deal with yet. 

I am a dweller as well.   One small thing can start the mental breakdown, and then I tend to cry about every little thing that has been bothering me.     Really, the whole crying thing started because I was overwhelmed in the moment, and I asked Bill to help me and he was grumpy about it.  We bought some packages of this plastic stuff that you shrink wrap over your windows to help hold the heat in, and stuff.  Well, it says that it is easy to do, but it is not as easy as it looks.  The good news is the house IS warmer, and we got the windows done.  The bad news is that it took hours, and duct tape.  Lots of duct tape.  I could feel myself teetering on the edge of sanity, and knew it was coming.    He did get up and come downstairs to help me, but one thing went wrong, he got so grumpy, and my mental breakdown began.

 I am very sure this breakdown was somewhat entertaining for other people.  I am on the last two windows, and I have duct tape and plastic stuck to my foot and to my hand, and I cannot get it off, and I cannot rip the peace of duct tape, and tears are streaming down my face.   That is about when I gave up and ask for Bill's help.  He is grumpy, and I begrudgingly keep going and try to hang the plastic on the windows trying to see through the tears and trying not to let it go so long that I cannot do it anymore because the thought if having to hang up more plastic tomorrow is a thought that I cannot bear.

I allowed myself to enter that deep, dark place of emotions that I haven't had a chance to deal with.  And thus ensues the 2 hours of crying and poor Bill was just there watching with a loss of what to do.  I got to cry about all the things that I needed to cry about, and I let it all out, and once it was all said and done things felt better.