A moment of peace, and the new normal

I don't know why exactly I would call this blog a moment of peace.  Really, it is a small moment of quiet in my otherwise fast paced day.  I am only getting this moment because I am ignoring my 5-year-old who is being amazingly quiet and wonderful today.

This blog is also quite frivolous considering the fact that I am drowning in things to do and I have nothing interesting to say.  Yes, I can admit for the first time in my life I feel like I have so much to do, and the smallest amount of time possible to do those things in.   I call it third baby syndrome.   One baby is easy, two babies can be challenging at times, but still for the most part, at least for me, was easy.  It was the third baby.  My sweet little Claire that turned my life entirely upside down.

Claire has a mind of her own.  She came much later than my other girls, and she took 10 hours more than both my other girls combined to show her face at the hospital.   She didn't want to come out, and she let the entire world know it.  As a result I came home from the hospital more tired than I have ever been in my entire life.  My entire body ached, and I could barely walk.  I had never experienced this before, my other two labors had been so easy.  Praise God, for my mother who came over everyday for the first week and helped me with little things like walking up the stairs, and big things like cleaning my house.  I never would have survived that first week without her.  I have to admit when my mom was over for her last day I was scared.  I didn't think I could do it alone, but I persevered and survived.   Then I added back one job, and the other job all while juggling all these balls up in the air wondering when it was going to all come crashing down around me.  Crashing down around me it did.  Because I was trying to handle it all on my own again, forgetting that God is the one that I am supposed to let juggle all those balls.

Prayer is the key for me, the only real sanity I have.   Handing over all those little balls to God, and letting Him handle them.  I know I cannot do it, and that is ok.  I just have to stop trying to take all of them back.  He knows better than I do.

Now, the last 4 months have flown by and I am adjusting to what I call "the new normal."  The new normal where my to do lists take much longer to do.  The new normal where I am forced to take more, and ask for more help than I ever have had to before.  This is a difficult task for me, I like being dependable and autonomous, but I have started to see that in asking for help I am also teaching my daughters important lessons.  

Despite the fact that I am busy, I am enjoying every single second of my kids. I am going to bed every night more exhausted than I ever have been.  Dirty, tired, covered in drool, food, dirt, you name it.  But I am smiling and praising God for the wonderful, beautiful daughters that He has blessed me with.  Yes, there is more clutter in my life.  Yes, there is more chaos.   I still maintain a house that is really clean, but I don't always get that last toy picked up off the floor, or fold that last shirt to put it away.   I also find that I don't really mind.   What I am thinking about is the smile that Claire had for me, the dance that Samantha did, and the hug I got when Phebe came home from school.

When I do get overwhelmed, I just keep remembering that tomorrow is another day, with another few moments, and another opportunity to enjoy my life.  One day when I have nothing to do I will be looking back and wishing with all my heart that my girls were little again.