I am not your friend

Dear Daughter,

I love hanging out with you.  I love having crazy dance parties.  I love talking about the books that we have read together.  I love the days where we bake, and play and sing.    I love that you confide in me.  That I am the person you trust most in the world.  I love knowing not only your favorite color, but also all your secrets.   I love all the laughter, and all the love between us.  But I need to be clear.  I am first and foremost, your mom...not your friend.

I am here to help you stretch the right boundaries.  To teach you which rules are made to follow.  To teach you to love.  I am here to work with you so that you can become the strongest, and most wonderful woman that God made you to be.

I am not always going to make it easy for you.  I know you don't want to help clean the house, or fold the laundry.  I know that you want to be able to have internet and a television in your room.  I am aware that I am infinitely mean for not buying you a phone when "like literally everyone has one."

When you come to me asking to read a book that is too mature for you, as you did today, I am going to say no.   I don't care how mad you are.  I don't care if you think I am mean.  I don't care if in that moment it doesn't feel like I care about what you want.  I care about you more by not letting you read that book, even if it doesn't feel like it right now.

The bottom line is I DO care.  And it is because I care that I am going to be your mom.    What you need right now is a Mom.    I am here to do just that.  It is not always going to be easy.  I cannot promise I will be perfect or never make mistakes. I hope you can learn from not only your mistakes, but mine as well.  I hope to be the kind of mom that teaches you it is ok to make a mistake.  I also, hope to teach you how to make amends for those mistakes.

What I can promise is to always be there for you no matter how bad you mess up, no matter what the problem big or small.   I promise I will always love you.  I will always be here to help you and guide you.  I promise to help you when you feel unsure, and to protect you when you need it.  I promise to give you a little push when you need to fly, and to hold you back when it is not quite time.

 One day when you grow up I do hope to not only be your mom but your friend as well.  Until then, I am going to stick with just being mom.

Love you!
Mom