Sleepless Nights, Time and Intentional Writing

The alarm wakes me in the early hours of the morning and I am still too tired to wake up.  Too tired because I have a daughter  that is refusing to sleep.  Tired, because the hours I am working and the demands of motherhood sometimes leave me feeling ragged, and frayed around the edges.    I want to crawl back into my bed where it is warm and comforting, but the day lies ahead of me, and I need to get up.  

It is in these first few moments of the morning when my head is full of ideas, and plans and what I want to do during the day.  What I want to do is always contrasting with what I need to do, and what I am actually capable of doing in a day.  I always start off the morning with some devotional time, a little time writing in my journal and I scratch a few thoughts into my writer’s notebook.  The ideas begin churning over in my head over breakfast.  A word, a thought, a sentence…But then we fight to make the lunches, and pack the bags and get out the door.

At work the emails and the paperwork stack up and my ideas start to float away.   I grasp at them slightly wondering if I will get a chance to write about it later in the day.   I write for work, I edit, I email, I call people, and soon my brain has completely switched modes and all my thoughts of writing have completely floated away. 

In some ways, I think my writer’s notebook is great.  I can write down ideas when I am not home, or when I don’t have time to write.  I can save all the fleeting thoughts for when I do have time.   In other ways I think I can use it as an excuse to jot down an idea and avoid developing it in the moment.  I put it of thinking I can write about it later.  Another excuse to stop writing.   Believe me when I say if anyone can come up with an excuse not to write it is me.  I have a house to run, and 3 jobs, and 3 kids, and a slew of other things that get in the way.   

Writing is something I really enjoy, it is something that brings me joy.    So, sometimes I skip that load of laundry and I take a few moments to write one of my thoughts down, and then I actually turn that thought into a blog entry.