My voice is hoarse, and my arm is tired from holding up the same book for the last fifteen minutes. The girls are warm and limp as they sink into me listening to the words I bring to life off of the page. I am surprised as I read, because it is not me I hear, but my parents.
It was my mom tonight. It is her voice that comes out of my mouth telling the tales of Frog and Toad, and Charlie and Lola. Calm and soothing. Never impatient, always soft. Other nights, it is my dad soft and warm, but with an excitement to it. I never knew when he would make me laugh with Dindercella and her Gairy Fodmother, or Green Eggs and Ham. I feel the same electricity with my daughters as the giggles rise to just below the surface slowly bubbling up until they are shaking with giggles.
I wonder sometimes if these moments mean as much to my daughters as they do to me. But they don't at least, not yet.... I know that they are not hanging on to every moment. I know they don't have the same urgency that I do. I know that they are not counting the days left until high school, or prom, until they drive, until they move out. But, in case you were wondering I do know this: The moments mean everything.
When my kids are sick, and I am pushing the hair out of their eyes, taking their temperature, and nursing them back to health I see my mom in me. It is her hands, her eyes, her gentleness, her prayers that I am bringing. I am passing on the comfort that only my mom can bring.
When they come home from school crying because their little hearts are broken it is my dads arms that I wrap around them surrounding them in safety, and comfort ensuring them that everything will be ok. I am giving them a place they can always turn to. No matter what the issue, no matter what the problem. They will have a place to turn. I am passing on the love my dad has given me.
When we dance around the kitchen dancing, and singing, and praising I am bringing a sense of fun. The same fun that my mom used to cheer me up no matter what the circumstances. The same sense of fun that meant that mistakes were forgiven, and that being yourself is always better than being someone else.
When we play a game of family hide and seek in the dark, or all snuggle on the couch watching a family movie I am bringing a sense of belonging. I am giving them a sense of family. The sense of family that my dad always taught me was so important.
Most importantly, these moments brought me an understanding of a God that loves unconditionally, a God that provides, a God that walks alongside me, a God that is steadfast and a God that is so full of grace and love! This lesson is invaluable. This lesson is irreplaceable.
In case you were wondering: These moments mean everything. The feeling of my hand in my dads, so strong and sure. My moms hands as they softly wiped the tears from my face. The sound of their voices and they guided me, read to me, and urged me to be who God called me to be. The sense of belonging that has extended from me to my husband, and to my daughters.
It may not seem important to them now, but my daughters will remember just like I do. They won't forget. And one day, hopefully, as they sit reading to their children it will be my voice that pours from their mouths.
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