And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt. ~Sylvia Plath

Wednesday, June 8, 2016

Is it worth it?

I get up every single morning to read my bible and spend time with God, and people often say to me:  I could never get up early. How do you do that?  Why would you want to do that?  Aren't you just reading the same things over and over again?  Is it worth it?

Here are my thoughts:

I love reading my bible, or if you want to get fancy you could say "I love spending time in the word." I am really not super fancy, but if you are then rock it out! There is nothing quite like starting my morning off in the quiet stillness, with a cup of coffee, my journal, and my bible.   It is oftentimes, in those waking moments, I can feel my day coming together.  I know I can face whatever God has called me to do, and be who God has called me to be because I began my day in His presence.  I have surrounded my heart, and my soul with His words,  I have prayed, I have lamented.  I have laid it all at His feet.

But my mornings are not perfect.  There are mornings I feel restless, and tired. The sound of my alarm waking me too early.   I stumble out of bed my mind jumbled with problems, words, to-do lists, and calendars.  My children wake early and crawl into my lap, spilling my coffee, or stealing my journal to write their own words down.   I still sit down on those mornings, and I read.  Even if I am just reading a few passages.  Even if I only have a moment.

On some mornings the words are tired, they are worn like me.  It feels like the same words that I have read a hundred times before, and the luster is not there.  (And also, I mean really, who gets the warm fuzzies after reading 4 chapters of genealogy?)  I know in those moments it is not God that has changed, but my focus.  I know that on those mornings I NEED to spend time in the quiet.  I know that even if the words have lost their luster in the moment, at some point during the day it will make a difference.

Surrender.  God has called me to surrender every single morning.  No matter what is going on.  No matter where my head is, or where my heart is.  I need to surrender. every. single. day.   And it is through this practice of surrender that my faith has grown.   By surrendering my mornings I have learned to surrender more of  my life.  God has crawled into the messiest places in my life and asked me to dig deep.  He has called me.  He has challenged me.  He has healed, loved, cared, nudged, prompted, and changed who I am.  He has strengthened my heart as I have walked through things I could never have done without Him.   He has been my constant, and my rock.  

So when people ask me if it is worth it.....I have to say yes.  Surrender.  Surrender everything you are, give up your mornings, your evenings, your everything.  Because what God has planned for your life is bigger.  It is better.  It is perfect.



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