I love the idea of having a word for the year. I am sure this is not a surprise to anyone who knows me and my love for lists, goal setting, and intentional living. But I really do love the idea of starting a new year with focus, a fresh journal filled with unwritten pages, and endless opportunity. I love that no matter how many times I slip up, or lose focus I have a mantra to bring me back, and refocus me.
I start to get excited in the month of December while I am praying, writing in my journal, and waiting. Waiting for the word that God will reveal to me in the weeks to come. I have had many words: surrender, joy, hope, bold, trust. Every year, and every single word has been an opportunity for growth. An opportunity to become more of the woman that God has created me to be. I don't know about you, but this makes me really excited!
I don't want to sugar coat it. Not every challenge has been easy. In fact, some of the challenges have been quite well.....challenging. Tears have been shed, and boundaries have been crossed, comfort zones have been left far behind. I am sure this year will be no exception.
I spent most of 2016 and 2017 under the umbrella of the word surrender. God asked me to surrender my kids, my marriage, my health, my control, my identity, my job, my home. You name it. I surrendered it. Overall, this wasn't an easy surrender, it was an unraveling and a stepping forward in the dark. If I am totally honest some things were easy to surrender and others left me wondering if I had what it was going to take to fully surrender.
Towards the end of 2017 I found myself vocalizing to people that "I am not brave." Those four words were met with puzzled looks and a few shaking heads, but still in my heart I didn't feel brave. Wouldn't you know it as I prayed about what my word for 2018 would be God whispered in my heart....Brave. I know...shocking plot twist.
I began to ask. What does this mean? What does Brave look like for me? Where are you telling me to go with this God?
Is brave found in standing up, or laying it all down? Am I brave in the small moments?
Daring and Courageous in the big moments? Do I know that I am enough?
Am I brave enough to be myself, and strong enough to put God's words, quietly spoken, in my heart?
Will I let His words drown out those of the world?
I am not abandoned. I am chosen. I am not lost. I am found. I am not broken, forgotten or overlooked. I am loved, cherished and made for this moment.
Every moment of surrender-
Every moment of stumbling-
Of learning, of trial-
These moments have built me, molded me, made me. These moments created my faith.
God says walk by faith. Not by sight. That's brave. Brave is knowing that God knows better than I do. Even when I don't understand. Even when I can't see a light at the end of the tunnel, and everything seems dark. Holding on in those moments, surrendering in faith. Trusting that God is who he says he is. That is brave.
Perhaps bravery is also found in patience, bravery is found in the waiting. It is found in the moments where you have surrendered everything you have. When you have unraveled everything in your heart and left it for God, not knowing what he will create with it, but having faith that it will be better than you could ever imagine. Brave is holding nothing back.
Brave is accepting and embracing who God made me to be, knowing I was brought to this day, this hour and this moment for a reason. Brave is listening to God's will. Brave is not measuring up to other people's expectations- But instead creating your own.
And so God says to me: Rise up brave daughter. Take courage. Have faith. You are chosen. You are loved, You are accepted. You are enough.
I am ready 2018. My year of brave!
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