Rice and Beans Day 5: The day that broke me.

I have to admit it I started off the week pretty excited.  I was somewhat prideful thinking that I could make it an entire week on rice and beans.  I like rice and beans.  Well, I thought I liked rice and beans.  I am not sure that I will like them again after this week is complete.  Not for awhile anyways.  My pride is gone now.

Let me take a second to tell you what I have been feeling this week.  I am hungry.  Hungry all the time.  I can just eaten another plate of rice and beans and within an hour or two I am hungry again.   I am grumpy, and tired.  I have had a headache every single day.  My stomach hurts every single time I eat.

I know I am not alone in this feeling.  I know that everyone who is doing this experiment with me is feeling all of this on some level.  I know that there millions of people around the world are feeling what I am feeling, but worse.  Way worse.  There are people that have much worse than the little bit of suffering I have had this week.

Day five is the day that brought me to my knees.  Day five is the day that when I turned to God and said I need you today.  I need your strength and I need your guidance today.  I need your help to continue on this journey.  I need you to hold me together.  And I got His response.  He said no, you need to listen.   You need to stay in my presence.  You need to let me work through you today.   You need to stop worrying about what you think you need, and trust me.

So that is what I did.  And I broke.

I reached the level of compassion that surpasses charity.  I cried.  I cried a lot.   I prayed, and I prayed some more.

I cried out of thankfulness when my almost two-year-old daughter asked for more milk, and all I had to do was open the fridge to get her some.  I cried out of compassion when I ate my second meal of rice and beans and my stomach hurt so bad I didn't think I could go anywhere.

We started a thankful list at the beginning of the week.  A list of foods we are thankful for, and things we take for granted every day.  We have added a few items every night.  Items like pizza, fresh fruit, and chicken.  I had a whole new level of joy when my daughter asked to add rice and beans to that list.  Why?   Because she was so thankful that she had rice and beans when there was nothing else. And because she knows by eating the rice and beans she is helping someone who would otherwise have nothing.   "Someone out there is going to have clean water because of me mom.  Just because I ate these rice and beans."

Joy.  That is how day five ends for me....Joy.

Rice and Beans Day 3: Cheerful giving?

Day three is here, and I am not going to lie...    I am getting tired of rice and beans.  The good news is I am three days in, I have made it three whole days!   The bad news is that I have four more to go.  It is kind of funny because I start to complain about rice and beans a little bit.  I begin to wonder if I am going to make it an entire week.  And then I remind myself why we are doing this and I am a little ashamed.  

Am I really going to give up?  Can I really not go out of my comfort zone for one week?

The answer to that is no.  I alone, probably could not make it an entire week without cheating.  I am being totally honest here.    I have food in the freezer that I could use, and I have leftover Halloween candy that I could eat.   It wouldn't count towards the money we are saving, and I could argue that it won't hurt anyone if I eat some of it.  But I feel called to do this.  I feel that this week Christ is working through me as I experience this with my family, and with my friends.    It is Christ who is strengthening me enough to do this.   He is the one who extended his grace to me, and now I can extend that grace to others.  

  Below is what I have posted to read whenever I am feeling hungry.   Whenever I feel discouraged because my kids are grumbling about eating rice and beans again.  Whenever I want to remind myself why I am doing this, and whenever I want to pray for those who have taken the journey with me.


“Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
    and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
    and break every yoke?
7 Is it not to share your food with the hungry
    and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
when you see the naked, to clothe them,
    and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?
8 Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
    and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness will go before you,
    and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.
9 Then you will call, and the Lord will answer;
    you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I."

Isaiah 58: 6-9
#eatlessgivelife

Rice and Beans: The beginning of the journey

I am staring down an entire week of Rice and Beans.  I am not really sure if I am registering that as a complaint because I have never eaten rice and beans for an entire week before.    I am sure at some point when I am forcing myself to eat rice and beans for breakfast I am not going to 100% enjoy it, but I believe that the spiritual benefits this week are going to far out weigh the discomforts.

The girls and I went to the store and we bought rice, and several different kinds of beans.  (Because you have to have variety in beans, right?)  They are excited to try it out.   Again, I am not sure that they will be excited as the week goes on.  I am trying to include them in the process as much as possible.  We have pinned several recipes on pinterest to try, and I am going to let them help me with the cooking.

I am praying right now that the Lord speaks to my heart, and the heart of my family this week.  That the money we donate from this fast is put to good use.  I am praying for the hearts of the families that are walking down this road with us.  I am praying for the thousands of people that are going to be helped from this project.  That they know that we did this out of love.

Right now I am feeling excited to start, and excited to be a part of something that will bring love and care to so many pepople.  I will let you know as the week goes on what I am feeling.  But for today I will leave you with this!

"God's kingdom isn't about eating and drinking.  It is about pleasing God, about living in peace and about true happiness.  All this comes from the Holy Spirit."  Romans 14:17

#eatlessgivelife

The post where I can feel my wrists again

I did it.   I finished Nano (National Novel Writing Month) in one week.   I cannot believe how much determination it took to get it done.   My best time before was 10 days.  While I am happy to say that I blew that time out of the water.  I also have to say that finishing 50k words in one week was crazy hard.

My story is not entirely complete, but it is almost there.  But don't worry you won't get to read it anytime soon because then I have to begin the tiresome project of editing.  Editing is the part that I do not enjoy.  I am currently working on an editing plan, one that does not involve me neglecting everything else in my life, but will allow me to edit more effectively.

November is a month that I take a little bit more.  It is a month where the extra projects that I like to do around the house go to the wayside.  It is a time when I get to be a little bit selfish, and take time to myself.  Time to myself is something I am not always good at taking.

I am extremely lucky and thankful for my husband.   My husband not only ignores the little bit of extra mess, but he continually tells me how proud he is of me for taking the time to write.   I could never do what I do in November without his help.   He helps me when I need ideas, he helps with the kids, and when I feel like my brain has shut down he is there to push me to write a few thousand more words.

I will write some more this month.  I am determined to finish the end of my novel, but for tonight I am going to sit and enjoy the fact that I met my goal.  

Nehemiah

I found this post saved, but not posted.  I love that I am stumbling across it again today about half way into fall because It is a good reminder!

This week I have been reading in Nehemiah.  Nehemiah is such a great story.  It is short and it is sweet, but this time around I hit a part that I have read a thousand times before and it struck me so I wanted to share.

 I just love how Nehemiah is so focused on what God has called him to do.  Nehemiah is rebuilding a wall, and nothing will deter him.  It is a great example of staying focused even in times of strife. Fall this year for me isn't necessarily a time of strife, but it is a really busy time for us.  Sometimes it is easy to let things slip.  Things like spending time in the word.  I believe that the times that we are feeling OK, and not spending time in the word are the times we really need to buckle down and make it a priority.

Anyways, back to Nehemiah. The book opens up with Nehemiah receiving the news that the wall had been broken down, and that God's people were hurting.   What is the first thing that Nehemiah does?  He mourns and prays.  I LOVE this.  How often, when something happens is the very first thing we do pray?   I can tell you that this has been my focus this week.  Every time something happens good or bad I am on my knees immediately and what a difference it makes!  

  Later, in the book Nehemiah is busy rebuilding his wall, (Chapter 6) and everyone is starting to get tired.  Nehemiah is starting to worry that the people are not going to be able to fix the wall.  And so he prays:  Now strengthen my hands.

Strengthen my hands.  I know that Nehemiah means this figuratively.   He prays it to feel less discouraged that the wall will fall down.  What a perfect prayer to pray as a mom, as a wife, as a woman.  Sometimes the days get weary and I have been praying.  Lord, strengthen my hands.

This books is kind of my focus for me going into this fall.  A focus for me, and for my family.   1. That we would pray before anything else bringing God into everything we do.  and 2.  To continually ask God to strengthen our hands a we do His work.   :)

Beauty and the Heroine

I am gearing up for Nanwrimo again.  Ideas are spinning in my head.  I am eager to write, and eager to get to know all the new characters that are just starting to formulate in my head.  For those of you who don't know what Nano is, I will explain.  Nanowrimo or National Novel Writing month is an event that happens each and every November.  The challenge is to write 50k words in the month of November.    Those 50k words are a start to your novel.  :)  This year will be my 6th year participating!!

While thinking about my main character who is yet unnamed have run into a double edged sword.  Is she Beauty?  Or is she the Heroine?

I love pink.   I love sparkles, and I love to dress up for my husband.   I love having dinner on the table.  I love taking care of my gorgeous daughters.  We sit around sometimes and we do mani/pedis.  We watch princess movies, and we have dance parties in my family room.   I am a girly girl.    I love being a girly girl.

I am also tough as nails.  I have been through emotional turmoil, and I have overcome.  I have been abused, been a single mom, I have survived.  Not to mention, I am quick, strong, smart and organized.  If you need a heroine.  I am your woman.

Wow, rereading that I am thinking that it sounds really like I am tooting my own horn here, and that is not my intention at all.  I am only trying to make a point here.  Why is there always a choice?  Why can't my Beauty be a heroine?    I intensely dislike it when people assume that to be strong you cannot be beautiful.  Or to be beautiful you cannot also be strong or smart.

I have a challenge for myself this year, and for other writers out there.  Stop short changing female characters.  We can be strong and beautiful!

My favorite 10

There are tons of articles out there with advice for parenting.  Everyone has their own little tweak on what they think the best advice is. Seeing as I have my last baby heading out of babyhood I thought I would give you my top ten things I would tell to a new mom.  (Okay, I have to admit here that my youngest is 19 months old and not a baby, but she will always be my baby!  Right moms?!)

1.  You don't need half the stuff you think you do.  

When you go to register for your shower take a seasoned mom with you!  The workers at Babies R us, and Buy Buy baby and amazing at up selling.  They are also amazing at selling you things that are going to sit in the corner of your house gathering dust.  A seasoned mom will be able to tell you exactly what they used and what was a waste of money!   And be realistic, you are going to need money!  Kids are expensive!

2.  Take Photos.

I don't want to hear excuses here.  Take photos.  You can never have too many, and include yourself in those photos.  I don't care if you feel huge or you hate your belly.  I don't care if you are done up, and I don't care if you are rocking out 3 hours of sleep.  These are moments you are going to want to treasure because they don't last forever.  In fact, these moment go by so fast you will be glad you snapped some photos.

3.  Eat and Pray in order to Love!

This one is really about taking time for yourself.  Make eating a priority.  When people offer to bring you food, or make you food.  Take them up on it and eat.  You need your strength, and I have seen more times than not Moms put aside their own needs for the baby and then forget to eat.  Pray often, it will make you more whole, it will help you.  Don't neglect your spirit because your body is tired.  Basically, take time for yourself because in the end you will be able to love others more if you take a few moments for yourself.  (Yes, this includes showering).

4.  Ask for help.

It is okay to ask for help when you need a nap, or you need anything.  Don't EVER feel like it is not ok to take when you need it.  I came home from the hospital after my third completely exhausted and wrecked.  I had never experienced a labor quite like my last one.   I remember my family coming over to visit, and I was so tired I had to excuse myself for a nap.  The baby was quiet and happy with my husband and my family, and I got 30 minutes of rest because I knew (yes, it took until my third for me to realize this.) that it was ok for me to ask for help.

5.  You might not connect with your baby instantly.  

I was really lucky.  I got to have that moment with each of my daughters where I fell instantly in love with them.   I never had to go through the isolating feelings of not connecting with my baby right away.  But, I know several people that have gone through this.   Know that you are not alone.   It is okay, everyone connects to their own baby in their own time and their own way.


6.  Enjoy every single second.  EVERY SINGLE SECOND.

It is not always easy to enjoy every second of parenting.  Parenting can be tiring and difficult.  It is definitely a whirlwind.   I know that in the beginning you are covered in spit up, and the baby is awake for the 30th time in 2 hours and all you can think about is sleeping.  I know that sometimes the day goes by, and you have only shaved one leg because the baby woke up screaming and you had to get out of the shower.  I can remember one specific time that I had around 7 hours of sleep in two days because I had 3 sick kids, and the baby decided to wake up at 5:30.   It was tired that morning, dog tired, my eyes were droopy, and I couldn't even have a cup of coffee because I was nursing.  But, when I think about that moment in my head you know what I remember?  The baby smiling up at me from her crib.  I remember her gurgling when I came into the room and giggling when I leaned over the side of the crib.  I remember seeing her red cheeks from the fever and feeling her warm sweet little body snuggle into mine when I picked her up.   It doesn't matter that I was tired, I lived through it.  It mattered that I remembered to smile back at her in that moment.

7.  Take time for your spouse.  

I don't care how much time you have be it 5 minutes or 10 seconds.  Take time for each other every day.  There were some nights that I barely got to sleep in the same bed as my husband because the baby was up so much, but we made it a point to re-connect no matter how much effort we had to put in.  That might even mean putting in your calendar some time for each other.   I cannot stress how important it is to still value your spouse even when I child enters the picture.  This is HUGE.

8.  Don't Compare.

Don't compare your baby to other peoples babies.  Don't get caught up in the drama of whose baby is more advanced.   It doesn't matter.  Every baby does things on their own timeline, and unless your doctor says there is a problem then you are okay.   Let your friend think their kid is a genius, and just love your baby for who he/she is.

9.  Give yourself Grace.

You are not perfect.  I am not perfect, and parenting is a lifetime of mistakes, and learning.  Don't put too much pressure on yourself to be perfect.  You will be a great parent if parent with love and grace.  You will lose the baby weight.  You will make it through.    I don't care if your best friend was back down to a size 4 the day after she gave birth, or if your sister has read all the parenting books in the world.  They are still not perfect.  None of us are.  There are going to be days where you wish you had a do over.  There are going to be days that are amazing.  Just leave room for it all on your plate.  And keep emphasizing that you don't have to be perfect.  Keep offering yourself grace.

10.  You will never be the same.

Becoming a parent is the most amazing gift, and it is going to change you from the inside out.  You will never again be the same person you were before.    It is messy, and it is perfect.   Embrace who you are becoming.  Embrace the changes in your body, embrace the changes in your heart, and embrace your new life!!


What are your favorite pieces of advice for new parents??