There are tons of articles out there with advice for parenting. Everyone has their own little tweak on what they think the best advice is. Seeing as I have my last baby heading out of babyhood I thought I would give you my top ten things I would tell to a new mom. (Okay, I have to admit here that my youngest is 19 months old and not a baby, but she will always be my baby! Right moms?!)
1. You don't need half the stuff you think you do.
When you go to register for your shower take a seasoned mom with you! The workers at Babies R us, and Buy Buy baby and amazing at up selling. They are also amazing at selling you things that are going to sit in the corner of your house gathering dust. A seasoned mom will be able to tell you exactly what they used and what was a waste of money! And be realistic, you are going to need money! Kids are expensive!
2. Take Photos.
I don't want to hear excuses here. Take photos. You can never have too many, and include yourself in those photos. I don't care if you feel huge or you hate your belly. I don't care if you are done up, and I don't care if you are rocking out 3 hours of sleep. These are moments you are going to want to treasure because they don't last forever. In fact, these moment go by so fast you will be glad you snapped some photos.
3. Eat and Pray in order to Love!
This one is really about taking time for yourself. Make eating a priority. When people offer to bring you food, or make you food. Take them up on it and eat. You need your strength, and I have seen more times than not Moms put aside their own needs for the baby and then forget to eat. Pray often, it will make you more whole, it will help you. Don't neglect your spirit because your body is tired. Basically, take time for yourself because in the end you will be able to love others more if you take a few moments for yourself. (Yes, this includes showering).
4. Ask for help.
It is okay to ask for help when you need a nap, or you need anything. Don't EVER feel like it is not ok to take when you need it. I came home from the hospital after my third completely exhausted and wrecked. I had never experienced a labor quite like my last one. I remember my family coming over to visit, and I was so tired I had to excuse myself for a nap. The baby was quiet and happy with my husband and my family, and I got 30 minutes of rest because I knew (yes, it took until my third for me to realize this.) that it was ok for me to ask for help.
5. You might not connect with your baby instantly.
I was really lucky. I got to have that moment with each of my daughters where I fell instantly in love with them. I never had to go through the isolating feelings of not connecting with my baby right away. But, I know several people that have gone through this. Know that you are not alone. It is okay, everyone connects to their own baby in their own time and their own way.
6. Enjoy every single second. EVERY SINGLE SECOND.
It is not always easy to enjoy every second of parenting. Parenting can be tiring and difficult. It is definitely a whirlwind. I know that in the beginning you are covered in spit up, and the baby is awake for the 30th time in 2 hours and all you can think about is sleeping. I know that sometimes the day goes by, and you have only shaved one leg because the baby woke up screaming and you had to get out of the shower. I can remember one specific time that I had around 7 hours of sleep in two days because I had 3 sick kids, and the baby decided to wake up at 5:30. It was tired that morning, dog tired, my eyes were droopy, and I couldn't even have a cup of coffee because I was nursing. But, when I think about that moment in my head you know what I remember? The baby smiling up at me from her crib. I remember her gurgling when I came into the room and giggling when I leaned over the side of the crib. I remember seeing her red cheeks from the fever and feeling her warm sweet little body snuggle into mine when I picked her up. It doesn't matter that I was tired, I lived through it. It mattered that I remembered to smile back at her in that moment.
7. Take time for your spouse.
I don't care how much time you have be it 5 minutes or 10 seconds. Take time for each other every day. There were some nights that I barely got to sleep in the same bed as my husband because the baby was up so much, but we made it a point to re-connect no matter how much effort we had to put in. That might even mean putting in your calendar some time for each other. I cannot stress how important it is to still value your spouse even when I child enters the picture. This is HUGE.
8. Don't Compare.
Don't compare your baby to other peoples babies. Don't get caught up in the drama of whose baby is more advanced. It doesn't matter. Every baby does things on their own timeline, and unless your doctor says there is a problem then you are okay. Let your friend think their kid is a genius, and just love your baby for who he/she is.
9. Give yourself Grace.
You are not perfect. I am not perfect, and parenting is a lifetime of mistakes, and learning. Don't put too much pressure on yourself to be perfect. You will be a great parent if parent with love and grace. You will lose the baby weight. You will make it through. I don't care if your best friend was back down to a size 4 the day after she gave birth, or if your sister has read all the parenting books in the world. They are still not perfect. None of us are. There are going to be days where you wish you had a do over. There are going to be days that are amazing. Just leave room for it all on your plate. And keep emphasizing that you don't have to be perfect. Keep offering yourself grace.
10. You will never be the same.
Becoming a parent is the most amazing gift, and it is going to change you from the inside out. You will never again be the same person you were before. It is messy, and it is perfect. Embrace who you are becoming. Embrace the changes in your body, embrace the changes in your heart, and embrace your new life!!
What are your favorite pieces of advice for new parents??
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