What a difficult thing right now for me to trust. Trust that God is going to have everything taken care of and Claire born right when she is supposed to be. I know it sounds silly, I should be able to throw my hands up in the air and trust that God has it covered. He does have everything else in my life covered. But I have so many moments of weakness right now. I am oh so tired, and both of my kids came this week at this time. And I remember how bad it hurts.... Part of me just wants to get it over with, and know that it is time so I can face the pain and be done with it. Really more than that, however is I want to meet her. I want to kiss her sweet little face, and see her fingers and her toes, and I am impatient.
I pray daily for her safety and that she is born right when God wants her to be, and that He is in charge of this birth. It is a struggle though to let it go, and just truly let Him have it. This makes me think because surrendering my life is not something that is difficult for me most of the time. I WANT God to cover me, I want him to be in charge of my life and everything in it. I know for a fact that I would not have survived my life, let alone this last year if I didn't have him there. HE is the reason that I am standing, I am not strong, God is strong.
So, why this, why now? What are you out there trying to teach me?
