A moment of peace, and the new normal

I don't know why exactly I would call this blog a moment of peace.  Really, it is a small moment of quiet in my otherwise fast paced day.  I am only getting this moment because I am ignoring my 5-year-old who is being amazingly quiet and wonderful today.

This blog is also quite frivolous considering the fact that I am drowning in things to do and I have nothing interesting to say.  Yes, I can admit for the first time in my life I feel like I have so much to do, and the smallest amount of time possible to do those things in.   I call it third baby syndrome.   One baby is easy, two babies can be challenging at times, but still for the most part, at least for me, was easy.  It was the third baby.  My sweet little Claire that turned my life entirely upside down.

Claire has a mind of her own.  She came much later than my other girls, and she took 10 hours more than both my other girls combined to show her face at the hospital.   She didn't want to come out, and she let the entire world know it.  As a result I came home from the hospital more tired than I have ever been in my entire life.  My entire body ached, and I could barely walk.  I had never experienced this before, my other two labors had been so easy.  Praise God, for my mother who came over everyday for the first week and helped me with little things like walking up the stairs, and big things like cleaning my house.  I never would have survived that first week without her.  I have to admit when my mom was over for her last day I was scared.  I didn't think I could do it alone, but I persevered and survived.   Then I added back one job, and the other job all while juggling all these balls up in the air wondering when it was going to all come crashing down around me.  Crashing down around me it did.  Because I was trying to handle it all on my own again, forgetting that God is the one that I am supposed to let juggle all those balls.

Prayer is the key for me, the only real sanity I have.   Handing over all those little balls to God, and letting Him handle them.  I know I cannot do it, and that is ok.  I just have to stop trying to take all of them back.  He knows better than I do.

Now, the last 4 months have flown by and I am adjusting to what I call "the new normal."  The new normal where my to do lists take much longer to do.  The new normal where I am forced to take more, and ask for more help than I ever have had to before.  This is a difficult task for me, I like being dependable and autonomous, but I have started to see that in asking for help I am also teaching my daughters important lessons.  

Despite the fact that I am busy, I am enjoying every single second of my kids. I am going to bed every night more exhausted than I ever have been.  Dirty, tired, covered in drool, food, dirt, you name it.  But I am smiling and praising God for the wonderful, beautiful daughters that He has blessed me with.  Yes, there is more clutter in my life.  Yes, there is more chaos.   I still maintain a house that is really clean, but I don't always get that last toy picked up off the floor, or fold that last shirt to put it away.   I also find that I don't really mind.   What I am thinking about is the smile that Claire had for me, the dance that Samantha did, and the hug I got when Phebe came home from school.

When I do get overwhelmed, I just keep remembering that tomorrow is another day, with another few moments, and another opportunity to enjoy my life.  One day when I have nothing to do I will be looking back and wishing with all my heart that my girls were little again.

Trust

What a difficult thing right now for me to trust.    Trust that God is going to have everything taken care of and Claire born right when she is supposed to be.   I know it sounds silly, I should be able to throw my hands up in the air and trust that God has it covered.  He does have everything else in my life covered.  But I have so many moments of weakness right now.   I am oh so tired, and both of my kids came this week at this time.   And I remember how bad it hurts.... Part of me just wants to get it over with, and know that it is time so I can face the pain and be done with it.    Really more than that, however is I want to meet her.  I want to kiss her sweet little face, and see her fingers and her toes, and I am impatient.  

I pray daily for her safety and that she is born right when God wants her to be, and that He is in charge of this birth.   It is a struggle though to let it go, and just truly let Him have it.   This makes me think because surrendering my life is not something that is difficult for me most of the time.  I WANT God to cover me, I want him to be in charge of my life and everything in it.  I know for a fact that I would not have survived my life, let alone this last year if I didn't have him there.  HE is the reason that I am standing, I am not strong, God is strong.

So, why this, why now?  What are you out there trying to teach me?  

5 weeks!

I am jumping the gun a little since in about 5 weeks I will be 37 weeks, and Claire will be fully cooked.  But I wanted to express my joy.   Five weeks and I could be meeting her.  I could be wearing regular pants again, I could wake up and not feel nauseous.  I can take nyquil again!  I know it is the little things in life right?

I think I am most excited to do real workouts again.  Not that I mind walking, it is nice, but I am ready to get back to Bob, and be challenged in a way that I haven't been in months!   I am also on a mission to convince the ladies in my life to workout with me again.   (yes, if you are reading this thinking is this me?  It is you.  It is time.)  

Happiness all around.

Morning coffee gets my nerves in a twitter

I have been up for two hours, and I am not that far ahead.  I am procrastinating from real life by blogging.   At least for some of you that means you get to read something.  :)

I am currently downloading pictures from Phebe's birthday party on to the computer and eventually on to facebook if I am lucky.  AND DONE!!

I have no real coherent thoughts today and I am going to bore you with a list of things that I have thought in the past few hours.

1. There is no such thing as a peaceful protest.  Not when there are crazy people out there.   (Note to you all:  I am in no way saying I am for or against protests, or giving my opinion in anyway on the protests going on right now.)   I am just saying, that there are two sides, protesters and the cops....both have at least one person that is willing to take things too far.  Sad.  Can't we be peaceful?

2.  When you are grocery shopping there are two things that you should do, if not for yourself, for the sanity of those around you.  First, don't leave your cart perpendicular in the middle of the lane, thus making it impossible for other people to pass you, and then get mad when they move your cart out of the way.  (Honestly, I saw a few people fighting about this today.)  Second, if it is a pain for you to walk to the cart return, to properly put your cart back then park right next to it and viola problem solved!!  Note:  the trunk of my car is NOT a cart return.

3.  Being in my third trimester not only makes me not want to be pregnant anymore because I want my body back, but I find myself standing in the nursery dreaming about what the baby will look like.  I cannot wait to kiss her face and hold her.  I am so excited!

4.  Nesting for me is basically amazing.  I love when things are clean and organized.  Nesting just gives me the excuse to be overly organized and overly clean.   :)

5.  If you honestly don't have the time or the mental capacity to listen to me when I tell you I need to vent, or talk or share about my life.  Please don't pretend that you do.  It is ok for you to say no.  I would rather you say no than have you not listen.  That tends to let me down.

6.  Tv is bad.   I need some good tv in my life for when I am up late at night nursing....any suggestions?!

7.  Is it crazy to crave Frank's red hot on everything you eat?  If not, then please explain to me why my weirdest craving this pregnancy has been bananas with maple syrup.  

Ok, off to clean some more.  :)

Nano is over and I have to take it easy

Nothing like forced sitting to make you finally update your blog.  I just finished the adventure that is Nano.  50k words completed, saved and submitted.  That is right Nano, you have yet to defeat me.  I am actually relieved to have it done this year with so much else that is going on in my life!!  For those of you who still don't know what Nano is, here is the brief explanation.  National Novel Writing Month is the name, and the challenge is to write 50,000 words in the month of November.  You will then have your basic premise for a novel, and you can add/edit later.  I must confess before starting Nano the idea of writing 50k in only 30 days seemed a task that I would never ever be able to do.  But now, I am wiser.  I know that the real work is in the editing.  A task that can overtake your life.

On other news:

We are officially at 31 weeks, and I am hoping only six more to go!  I am enjoying the little moments of her kicking, and having both Phebe and Samantha come over and want to feel the baby kick.  Today I am having forced rest from the doctor (also from my husband.).   The specific instructions were to take it "slightly" more usual than normal and drink lots of fluids.   This is partially good because I have caught the cold that my friends kids have, and I am tired today, and partially bad because I hate to sit.     Seriously, hate to sit.  I look around me and think about all the thing I want to be doing, and making doing them forbidden for the day makes me want to do them more.  :)  I know it is a sickness.

I just read an article title "does a good hair day stop you from working out?"  I am not even going to read that.  I cannot even begin to describe what a ridiculous thought that is.   Are you really that high maintenance??

I don't have anything else interesting to say, but here I sit watching the New Girl, which I love, and waiting for the laundry to finish... 

Blessings

I have so many little good things to share.   God has blessed our house so many times, and I just want to share the joy with everyone.   I don't really have one specific topic, and I think that listing out what I have seen lately is the easiest, and the best way to share what little joys my life has had in the past few weeks.

1.  This pregnancy has been such a blessing for me.  I am so excited to be having another sweet little girl!  I love to feel her kick me, and nudge inside when I am doing something she likes or doesn't.   I feel like she is saying "hey mom, I am in here and I love you."   I cannot wait to show her just how much I already love her and how amazing she already is.   When you have your first child you learn that you have a whole new level of love, and you never thought you could love someone quite this much.  When you have your second you learn that each child is loved that much, and your heart literally grows another for each child.  Now, I get to have that for a third time. 

2.  Samantha is blossoming at school.  She is loving, and sweet, and so caring.  The first day of school, Bill and I came together to pick Samantha up and she was in her classroom.  She didn't know that we could hear and see her.   There was another child crying and she went right up and offered to make them feel better.  She wanted to give him chinners (a strange thing that we do in our family where you bump your chin on someone to let them know that you have overwhelming love for them.  It is kind of like a big hug.  I know it sounds weird, but it is one of those things your kids make up and it gets incorporated and becomes dear to you.)  She settled on hugging the crying child instead, and I was so proud of her for stepping right up.

3.  Phebe is getting to be so big.  I am overwhelmed by how mature, and how understanding she is.  I cannot believe it is going by this fast, and that she is already about to turn 9.  How did it go by so fast.   I am so thankful that I have been around for everything from her first words to her first day of school, to her first crush.  I have not had to miss a moment, and I am so thankful for that.

4.  A note on kids who are NOT my kids, but I consider them honorary kids.   Parker (bestfriend's son)  last week made my ENTIRE day because he hugged me 3 times before leaving, and then had to come back to the door again to hug me and tell me he loved me.   I love it!  Robby (other best friend's son) always comes over and compliments my cooking and tells me how delicious everything is.  It is really sweet and nice to hear!

That is all just a blog of happiness.

The baby stole my brain-working out with a cold

I don't have a title for this blog mostly because I don't have any real reason to blog.  I just felt it necessary since I have not written anything in months.   I am going to pull out the mom card here, and say this baby ate my brain.  I cannot even start a book I haven't read before without confusion.   I have a list of interesting blogs that I can start and should be able to write, but I don't have the mental capacity to try it.  

In reflection of my life this past week, being both pregnant and sick, I decided to make today's blog about working out with a cold.  Obviously, regular moderate exercise is something that will prevent a cold.  According to a lot of findings, exercise helps make your immune system more capable of fighting off a cold or a flu.  But what do you do when you have already gotten a cold?  Should you workout, or should you skip for a few days and rest?

There are a few rules of thumb for working out with a cold.

1.  Listen to your body.  If you are extremely tired, or have a higher heart rate already due to decongestants then take it easy..  Decongestants and a few other cold medications are known stimulants, and you might find yourself short of breath a lot easier.  If you just have a head cold, go ahead and workout.
2.  Don't workout if your chest is congested or if you have a fever.  The rule of thumb is if you have a head cold, go ahead and do some moderately intense workout.  But if your chest is congested, or you already have a fever it is better for you to rest and stay in bed.    
3.  Stick to moderate intensity.  It is never a good idea to do a really intense workout when you are sick.  Moderate intensity however, should help your immune system along on the process.  If you are tired, but still feel the need to do something try yoga, pilates or a short walk.
4.  Rest and drink up.   Don't forget to drink plenty of fluids and in general let your body rest more than normal.

Back to heal myself.  :)