And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt. ~Sylvia Plath

Friday, May 30, 2014

I am not your friend

Dear Daughter,

I love hanging out with you.  I love having crazy dance parties.  I love talking about the books that we have read together.  I love the days where we bake, and play and sing.    I love that you confide in me.  That I am the person you trust most in the world.  I love knowing not only your favorite color, but also all your secrets.   I love all the laughter, and all the love between us.  But I need to be clear.  I am first and foremost, your mom...not your friend.

I am here to help you stretch the right boundaries.  To teach you which rules are made to follow.  To teach you to love.  I am here to work with you so that you can become the strongest, and most wonderful woman that God made you to be.

I am not always going to make it easy for you.  I know you don't want to help clean the house, or fold the laundry.  I know that you want to be able to have internet and a television in your room.  I am aware that I am infinitely mean for not buying you a phone when "like literally everyone has one."

When you come to me asking to read a book that is too mature for you, as you did today, I am going to say no.   I don't care how mad you are.  I don't care if you think I am mean.  I don't care if in that moment it doesn't feel like I care about what you want.  I care about you more by not letting you read that book, even if it doesn't feel like it right now.

The bottom line is I DO care.  And it is because I care that I am going to be your mom.    What you need right now is a Mom.    I am here to do just that.  It is not always going to be easy.  I cannot promise I will be perfect or never make mistakes. I hope you can learn from not only your mistakes, but mine as well.  I hope to be the kind of mom that teaches you it is ok to make a mistake.  I also, hope to teach you how to make amends for those mistakes.

What I can promise is to always be there for you no matter how bad you mess up, no matter what the problem big or small.   I promise I will always love you.  I will always be here to help you and guide you.  I promise to help you when you feel unsure, and to protect you when you need it.  I promise to give you a little push when you need to fly, and to hold you back when it is not quite time.

 One day when you grow up I do hope to not only be your mom but your friend as well.  Until then, I am going to stick with just being mom.

Love you!
Mom