And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt. ~Sylvia Plath

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Rice and Beans Day 5: The day that broke me.

I have to admit it I started off the week pretty excited.  I was somewhat prideful thinking that I could make it an entire week on rice and beans.  I like rice and beans.  Well, I thought I liked rice and beans.  I am not sure that I will like them again after this week is complete.  Not for awhile anyways.  My pride is gone now.

Let me take a second to tell you what I have been feeling this week.  I am hungry.  Hungry all the time.  I can just eaten another plate of rice and beans and within an hour or two I am hungry again.   I am grumpy, and tired.  I have had a headache every single day.  My stomach hurts every single time I eat.

I know I am not alone in this feeling.  I know that everyone who is doing this experiment with me is feeling all of this on some level.  I know that there millions of people around the world are feeling what I am feeling, but worse.  Way worse.  There are people that have much worse than the little bit of suffering I have had this week.

Day five is the day that brought me to my knees.  Day five is the day that when I turned to God and said I need you today.  I need your strength and I need your guidance today.  I need your help to continue on this journey.  I need you to hold me together.  And I got His response.  He said no, you need to listen.   You need to stay in my presence.  You need to let me work through you today.   You need to stop worrying about what you think you need, and trust me.

So that is what I did.  And I broke.

I reached the level of compassion that surpasses charity.  I cried.  I cried a lot.   I prayed, and I prayed some more.

I cried out of thankfulness when my almost two-year-old daughter asked for more milk, and all I had to do was open the fridge to get her some.  I cried out of compassion when I ate my second meal of rice and beans and my stomach hurt so bad I didn't think I could go anywhere.

We started a thankful list at the beginning of the week.  A list of foods we are thankful for, and things we take for granted every day.  We have added a few items every night.  Items like pizza, fresh fruit, and chicken.  I had a whole new level of joy when my daughter asked to add rice and beans to that list.  Why?   Because she was so thankful that she had rice and beans when there was nothing else. And because she knows by eating the rice and beans she is helping someone who would otherwise have nothing.   "Someone out there is going to have clean water because of me mom.  Just because I ate these rice and beans."

Joy.  That is how day five ends for me....Joy.







Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Rice and Beans Day 3: Cheerful giving?

Day three is here, and I am not going to lie...    I am getting tired of rice and beans.  The good news is I am three days in, I have made it three whole days!   The bad news is that I have four more to go.  It is kind of funny because I start to complain about rice and beans a little bit.  I begin to wonder if I am going to make it an entire week.  And then I remind myself why we are doing this and I am a little ashamed.  

Am I really going to give up?  Can I really not go out of my comfort zone for one week?

The answer to that is no.  I alone, probably could not make it an entire week without cheating.  I am being totally honest here.    I have food in the freezer that I could use, and I have leftover Halloween candy that I could eat.   It wouldn't count towards the money we are saving, and I could argue that it won't hurt anyone if I eat some of it.  But I feel called to do this.  I feel that this week Christ is working through me as I experience this with my family, and with my friends.    It is Christ who is strengthening me enough to do this.   He is the one who extended his grace to me, and now I can extend that grace to others.  

  Below is what I have posted to read whenever I am feeling hungry.   Whenever I feel discouraged because my kids are grumbling about eating rice and beans again.  Whenever I want to remind myself why I am doing this, and whenever I want to pray for those who have taken the journey with me.


“Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
    and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
    and break every yoke?
Is it not to share your food with the hungry
    and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter
when you see the naked, to clothe them,
    and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?
Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
    and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness will go before you,
    and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.
Then you will call, and the Lord will answer;
    you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I."


Isaiah 58: 6-9
#eatlessgivelife

Saturday, November 9, 2013

Rice and Beans: The beginning of the journey

I am staring down an entire week of Rice and Beans.  I am not really sure if I am registering that as a complaint because I have never eaten rice and beans for an entire week before.    I am sure at some point when I am forcing myself to eat rice and beans for breakfast I am not going to 100% enjoy it, but I believe that the spiritual benefits this week are going to far out weigh the discomforts.

The girls and I went to the store and we bought rice, and several different kinds of beans.  (Because you have to have variety in beans, right?)  They are excited to try it out.   Again, I am not sure that they will be excited as the week goes on.  I am trying to include them in the process as much as possible.  We have pinned several recipes on pinterest to try, and I am going to let them help me with the cooking.

I am praying right now that the Lord speaks to my heart, and the heart of my family this week.  That the money we donate from this fast is put to good use.  I am praying for the hearts of the families that are walking down this road with us.  I am praying for the thousands of people that are going to be helped from this project.  That they know that we did this out of love.

Right now I am feeling excited to start, and excited to be a part of something that will bring love and care to so many pepople.  I will let you know as the week goes on what I am feeling.  But for today I will leave you with this!

"God's kingdom isn't about eating and drinking.  It is about pleasing God, about living in peace and about true happiness.  All this comes from the Holy Spirit."  Romans 14:17

#eatlessgivelife

The post where I can feel my wrists again

I did it.   I finished Nano (National Novel Writing Month) in one week.   I cannot believe how much determination it took to get it done.   My best time before was 10 days.  While I am happy to say that I blew that time out of the water.  I also have to say that finishing 50k words in one week was crazy hard.

My story is not entirely complete, but it is almost there.  But don't worry you won't get to read it anytime soon because then I have to begin the tiresome project of editing.  Editing is the part that I do not enjoy.  I am currently working on an editing plan, one that does not involve me neglecting everything else in my life, but will allow me to edit more effectively.

November is a month that I take a little bit more.  It is a month where the extra projects that I like to do around the house go to the wayside.  It is a time when I get to be a little bit selfish, and take time to myself.  Time to myself is something I am not always good at taking.

I am extremely lucky and thankful for my husband.   My husband not only ignores the little bit of extra mess, but he continually tells me how proud he is of me for taking the time to write.   I could never do what I do in November without his help.   He helps me when I need ideas, he helps with the kids, and when I feel like my brain has shut down he is there to push me to write a few thousand more words.

I will write some more this month.  I am determined to finish the end of my novel, but for tonight I am going to sit and enjoy the fact that I met my goal.  



Friday, October 25, 2013

Nehemiah


I found this post saved, but not posted.  I love that I am stumbling across it again today about half way into fall because It is a good reminder!

This week I have been reading in Nehemiah.  Nehemiah is such a great story.  It is short and it is sweet, but this time around I hit a part that I have read a thousand times before and it struck me so I wanted to share.

 I just love how Nehemiah is so focused on what God has called him to do.  Nehemiah is rebuilding a wall, and nothing will deter him.  It is a great example of staying focused even in times of strife. Fall this year for me isn't necessarily a time of strife, but it is a really busy time for us.  Sometimes it is easy to let things slip.  Things like spending time in the word.  I believe that the times that we are feeling OK, and not spending time in the word are the times we really need to buckle down and make it a priority.

Anyways, back to Nehemiah. The book opens up with Nehemiah receiving the news that the wall had been broken down, and that God's people were hurting.   What is the first thing that Nehemiah does?  He mourns and prays.  I LOVE this.  How often, when something happens is the very first thing we do pray?   I can tell you that this has been my focus this week.  Every time something happens good or bad I am on my knees immediately and what a difference it makes!  

  Later, in the book Nehemiah is busy rebuilding his wall, (Chapter 6) and everyone is starting to get tired.  Nehemiah is starting to worry that the people are not going to be able to fix the wall.  And so he prays:  Now strengthen my hands.

Strengthen my hands.  I know that Nehemiah means this figuratively.   He prays it to feel less discouraged that the wall will fall down.  What a perfect prayer to pray as a mom, as a wife, as a woman.  Sometimes the days get weary and I have been praying.  Lord, strengthen my hands.

This books is kind of my focus for me going into this fall.  A focus for me, and for my family.   1. That we would pray before anything else bringing God into everything we do.  and 2.  To continually ask God to strengthen our hands a we do His work.   :)

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Beauty and the Heroine

I am gearing up for Nanwrimo again.  Ideas are spinning in my head.  I am eager to write, and eager to get to know all the new characters that are just starting to formulate in my head.  For those of you who don't know what Nano is, I will explain.  Nanowrimo or National Novel Writing month is an event that happens each and every November.  The challenge is to write 50k words in the month of November.    Those 50k words are a start to your novel.  :)  This year will be my 6th year participating!!

While thinking about my main character who is yet unnamed have run into a double edged sword.  Is she Beauty?  Or is she the Heroine?

I love pink.   I love sparkles, and I love to dress up for my husband.   I love having dinner on the table.  I love taking care of my gorgeous daughters.  We sit around sometimes and we do mani/pedis.  We watch princess movies, and we have dance parties in my family room.   I am a girly girl.    I love being a girly girl.

I am also tough as nails.  I have been through emotional turmoil, and I have overcome.  I have been abused, been a single mom, I have survived.  Not to mention, I am quick, strong, smart and organized.  If you need a heroine.  I am your woman.

Wow, rereading that I am thinking that it sounds really like I am tooting my own horn here, and that is not my intention at all.  I am only trying to make a point here.  Why is there always a choice?  Why can't my Beauty be a heroine?    I intensely dislike it when people assume that to be strong you cannot be beautiful.  Or to be beautiful you cannot also be strong or smart.

I have a challenge for myself this year, and for other writers out there.  Stop short changing female characters.  We can be strong and beautiful!

Thursday, August 22, 2013

My favorite 10

There are tons of articles out there with advice for parenting.  Everyone has their own little tweak on what they think the best advice is. Seeing as I have my last baby heading out of babyhood I thought I would give you my top ten things I would tell to a new mom.  (Okay, I have to admit here that my youngest is 19 months old and not a baby, but she will always be my baby!  Right moms?!)

1.  You don't need half the stuff you think you do.  

When you go to register for your shower take a seasoned mom with you!  The workers at Babies R us, and Buy Buy baby and amazing at up selling.  They are also amazing at selling you things that are going to sit in the corner of your house gathering dust.  A seasoned mom will be able to tell you exactly what they used and what was a waste of money!   And be realistic, you are going to need money!  Kids are expensive!

2.  Take Photos.

I don't want to hear excuses here.  Take photos.  You can never have too many, and include yourself in those photos.  I don't care if you feel huge or you hate your belly.  I don't care if you are done up, and I don't care if you are rocking out 3 hours of sleep.  These are moments you are going to want to treasure because they don't last forever.  In fact, these moment go by so fast you will be glad you snapped some photos.

3.  Eat and Pray in order to Love!

This one is really about taking time for yourself.  Make eating a priority.  When people offer to bring you food, or make you food.  Take them up on it and eat.  You need your strength, and I have seen more times than not Moms put aside their own needs for the baby and then forget to eat.  Pray often, it will make you more whole, it will help you.  Don't neglect your spirit because your body is tired.  Basically, take time for yourself because in the end you will be able to love others more if you take a few moments for yourself.  (Yes, this includes showering).

4.  Ask for help.

It is okay to ask for help when you need a nap, or you need anything.  Don't EVER feel like it is not ok to take when you need it.  I came home from the hospital after my third completely exhausted and wrecked.  I had never experienced a labor quite like my last one.   I remember my family coming over to visit, and I was so tired I had to excuse myself for a nap.  The baby was quiet and happy with my husband and my family, and I got 30 minutes of rest because I knew (yes, it took until my third for me to realize this.) that it was ok for me to ask for help.

5.  You might not connect with your baby instantly.  

I was really lucky.  I got to have that moment with each of my daughters where I fell instantly in love with them.   I never had to go through the isolating feelings of not connecting with my baby right away.  But, I know several people that have gone through this.   Know that you are not alone.   It is okay, everyone connects to their own baby in their own time and their own way.


6.  Enjoy every single second.  EVERY SINGLE SECOND.

It is not always easy to enjoy every second of parenting.  Parenting can be tiring and difficult.  It is definitely a whirlwind.   I know that in the beginning you are covered in spit up, and the baby is awake for the 30th time in 2 hours and all you can think about is sleeping.  I know that sometimes the day goes by, and you have only shaved one leg because the baby woke up screaming and you had to get out of the shower.  I can remember one specific time that I had around 7 hours of sleep in two days because I had 3 sick kids, and the baby decided to wake up at 5:30.   It was tired that morning, dog tired, my eyes were droopy, and I couldn't even have a cup of coffee because I was nursing.  But, when I think about that moment in my head you know what I remember?  The baby smiling up at me from her crib.  I remember her gurgling when I came into the room and giggling when I leaned over the side of the crib.  I remember seeing her red cheeks from the fever and feeling her warm sweet little body snuggle into mine when I picked her up.   It doesn't matter that I was tired, I lived through it.  It mattered that I remembered to smile back at her in that moment.

7.  Take time for your spouse.  

I don't care how much time you have be it 5 minutes or 10 seconds.  Take time for each other every day.  There were some nights that I barely got to sleep in the same bed as my husband because the baby was up so much, but we made it a point to re-connect no matter how much effort we had to put in.  That might even mean putting in your calendar some time for each other.   I cannot stress how important it is to still value your spouse even when I child enters the picture.  This is HUGE.

8.  Don't Compare.

Don't compare your baby to other peoples babies.  Don't get caught up in the drama of whose baby is more advanced.   It doesn't matter.  Every baby does things on their own timeline, and unless your doctor says there is a problem then you are okay.   Let your friend think their kid is a genius, and just love your baby for who he/she is.

9.  Give yourself Grace.

You are not perfect.  I am not perfect, and parenting is a lifetime of mistakes, and learning.  Don't put too much pressure on yourself to be perfect.  You will be a great parent if parent with love and grace.  You will lose the baby weight.  You will make it through.    I don't care if your best friend was back down to a size 4 the day after she gave birth, or if your sister has read all the parenting books in the world.  They are still not perfect.  None of us are.  There are going to be days where you wish you had a do over.  There are going to be days that are amazing.  Just leave room for it all on your plate.  And keep emphasizing that you don't have to be perfect.  Keep offering yourself grace.

10.  You will never be the same.

Becoming a parent is the most amazing gift, and it is going to change you from the inside out.  You will never again be the same person you were before.    It is messy, and it is perfect.   Embrace who you are becoming.  Embrace the changes in your body, embrace the changes in your heart, and embrace your new life!!


What are your favorite pieces of advice for new parents??

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Why Strong is NOT always the new skinny.

I hate to admit it, but I am a health nut.  Ok, that was a bold faced lie.  I love to admit that I am a health nut.  I love all things health and fitness.  There I said it, ok?!   I have never been one to just want to be "skinny."  I have always wanted to be strong.  I have been working out with my mom since I was eight-years-old wearing my daffy duck leotard and some killer leg warmers.    I know you are totally jealous of my amazing wardrobe choices.   If it makes you feel better, I don't have leotards or leg warmers anymore.

I have had many conversations with people who workout.  I know what kind of workouts they prefer.  I hear about their challenges and what is hardest for them.   I always ask people why they workout.  For most  people their reason for working out is "I want to be skinny."   Being skinny is my least favorite reason that people give.  That is why when I heard the statement "Strong is the new skinny" I fell in love with it.  

The logic behind me loving this statement is largely based on the fact that I workout to be healthy, to feel good, to have energy,  and to take care of myself.  Working out has always made me feel strong.  Strong has always been my skinny because for me strong was healthy.

I won't sugar coat it.  Or lie for that matter.  One of the perks of working out is that it does help you become thinner.   I am not in anyway denying that, but I have always loved the fact that working out has been challenging, and has made me stronger.  I don't workout to be skinny.  That was never my reason.   So, what wasn't to like about everyone's fresh new outlook?   Strong, yes that was much better than skinny.

I was all about embracing this new outlook on working out.  Until one day a friend of mine was working out and she pointed out a body part on one of the girls on screen.  "I want legs like that."  She said.  "Look how small and defined her legs are."   It was then that I looked at my beautiful friend, who is a healthy weight, completely gorgeous, in great shape and I sighed, audibly.   All she did was replace skinny with strong.  

All we did was replace one way society tells us to look with another.  Just when I thought we were making progress there was another wave of pressure for people everywhere.  It is no longer enough to be skinny you have to be strong as well.  

I am a firm believer that we are all shaped differently, that we are all fearfully and wonderfully made to look like who we are.   I don't want to look like anyone else, and I don't want my daughters to think that they have to look like anyone else.   I want them to embrace themselves as who they are, and take care of that person.

So, go ahead.  Eat healthy, and workout.  Take care of the body that you were given.   Health is important.  Being someone else is not.

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Don't Talk about your spouse to anyone.....Ever

I was talking to a group of friends and the subject landed on marriage and gossip.  I believe that gossip can kill relationships.  Gossip is toxic.  Not only to your marriage but to every relationship you have.  One of my friends has a rule.  When you are in a conversation that goes south, and everyone is talking about their spouses you don't... ever.   I know that the rule sounds harsh, wait no not harsh, hard to follow.  Extremely hard to follow.

Picture yourself standing with a  group of girlfriends, and everyone is chatting.   The conversation probably becomes a spiral of whose husband has done the least amount of housework, had the least helpful few days, or been the biggest jerk of the week.  I know that most women have been there.  Pretty soon everyone is wondering what is in the water? What is making all the men (or women) so terrible?

The answer is we are, we are the ones making them terrible.  We are the ones over-exaggerating, over-complaining and honestly over-exposing our loved ones.  We are gossiping.   I know I sound preachy, but I am guilty of this as well.  I am calling myself out just as mush as I am calling out everyone else.  It is really easy to get caught up in the negative thoughts, just to feel like you are relating to each other in the moment.

What kills me in this situation is that we are taking the person that we have chosen to love, and to honor, to respect, and to take care of and we are cutting them down.  Often times we are taking their weakest points, .  we are taking their biggest fears, we are taking their failures and we are exposing them to who ever will listen.  When in reality these are the points that we should be praying for, helping to lift them up, and protecting them from more pain.

 But what if we lived in a different world?   What if instead of cutting down our spouses we lifted them up?  What if instead of mentioning that load of laundry that went unfolded we thought about how hard our spouse worked that day.   What if instead of giving in to the gossip we chose to walk away from the conversation?

What if instead of judging every single move, we loved and supported instead?  After all, isn't that what we promised?




Tuesday, July 23, 2013

A Grace Based Burnt Dinner

I have a challenge this week.  A parenting challenge.  I know some of you are thinking, why take a parenting challenge?  Parenting is a challenge all on it's own.  You are right.  Parenting is one of the most challenging, and most rewarding things I have ever tried to do in my entire life.   But, I am an advocate that everyone can improve.

For the most part, I have been trying to combine two parenting styles Love and Logic and Grace Based Parenting.  This week in my small group we asked the question "What are your children fighting with to get your attention?"   My answer was clear.  My "to do" list.  I have a list, a long one for each and every day of the week.   Let me make something clear.  I am not saying that it is bad to have goals, or a list, or things to do.  I think that is great.  It is one of the only ways that I can keep my life straight.   

The problem that I run into is that I am saying to my kids, things like "I will do that in a few minutes right after I finish ______."  My kids scamper off, and then I just move on with my list and I don't always remember what they asked me.  Or,  I know some of you are with me here, I hope that they forget what they asked me.  Because I would rather cross something else off of my list than play another game of Pretty Pretty Princess, or draw the outside of a wedding dress that they can color in.  

Back to my challenge, this week I am trying to be more mindful and focus more on my kids and less on my list.  This challenge has proved to be really difficult in certain moments.  For example, this evening I was making cookies with Phebe and playing with Claire in the kitchen, and trying to cook Bill's dinner all at the same time.  Samantha had chosen to go up to her room to play with her dolls.  After a few minutes Samantha came back down needing me to fix something.    My gut reaction was to tell her to leave it on my desk and I would fix it when I was done, but instead I grabbed the glue gun and plugged it in.  I was not going to set her needs aside to finish what I thought I needed to do.

Well, you can guess what happened next: the cookies in the oven needed to be switched out, the glue gun started leaking on the counter, Claire started to try and escape her chair, and I was standing there trying to fix a brush for a doll.  I needed an extra set of hands.  The dinner burned and I started to laugh.   I am clearly, clearly not good at setting things aside all the time.   My moment of clarity came when Samantha hugged me excitedly and said "Thanks for fixing it right now momma even though you are busy."  She saw that I was valuing her over what I was doing.

It is not all to do lists, however  I had a great time today snuggling and reading books with Claire, making cookies with Phebe and just playing with Samantha.  These moments were so easy, I loved it. I wasn't thinking about what I had to do.  I was just enjoying my kids.  

What have I discovered so far this week?  It is a balance.  I do need to get stuff done, and there are going to be times that I have to have the kids wait because I have to finish making dinner or because I need to switch the laundry, but sometimes it is also important just so set aside what is on my list to fix a doll brush.  Even if that means that the dinner is burned.

Friday, July 19, 2013

A trip down memory lane

I was inspired today to go through my old blog.  A friend of mine needed access to her old blog and the only way I could remember her user name was to sign in to my account.  In the process of remembering my own user name and password, and wondering how long I wrote at that blog I thought to myself:  I should save this.  These are my words, and my thoughts, and this is my life.  One day someone might want to read this.

I am not saying my words were words to remember, just that maybe one day when I am gone my kids will want to read the things I wrote.  I know that I would love to read a journal of my grandmother's.

My first thought at pulling up this blog was to ooooh and aaaah at the little sweet pictures of my babies faces. I loved reading the sweet things that they were doing at the time.  Then I read what I had written.  I am not a great writer.  I never have been.  I love to write, but I am not always skilled at it.   Some of these blog entries however, made me cringe.    I was not just cringing at the words, but at how hard I was on myself.    I have changed so much since then.  And I wish I could turn back a page in time and instill some of this wisdom on my younger self.

I started from the beginning of my blog (all the way back in 2003).   I was hard on myself as a mom, as a wife, as a friend.  I was hard on myself in general.   I am still hard on myself, but not in the same way.  I know more where to give myself grace, and where to push myself.  I have learned a lot since then, and I am so thankful for it.   I am not perfect in that I am still a perfectionist.   I have a long way to go.  But it is encouraging to see how far I have come.

I made a lot of really tough decisions back then.  Decisions that have affected the rest of my life, and decisions that were not easy to make.  Come to think of it, I don't know a lot of life changing decisions that are actually easy to make because then they wouldn't be life changing.

I hope that by saving these words and by showing them to my daughters one day that they too can learn from me.  They can learn from who I was then, and who I am now.    I do hope that they see that the one thing that hasn't changed is God, my reliance on Him was always constant.   I really did like that part!

This is what I would say to my old self:  I hope that you know that you don't have to be perfect.  Just do your best and the rest is going to be fine.  Ask for more help.   Let people in to the hard parts of your life because other people are going to help you get through it.  Let the little things go, and remember that there is always tomorrow.  Love yourself for who you are no matter what evil words other people are feeding you.  Keep being silly and laughing.  Your joy is infectious and amazing.   And lastly, Use spell check it is there for a reason!


Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Praying for your husband- A week long challenge!

I have an amazing husband.   He is other than my children, the most important person in my life.  We daily walk together, we parent together, we live together, we spend our time together.   I could not think of a better person to be praying for every-single-day.

It is really easy to forget to pray for your spouse.  There are so many things going on in life, and so many things to pray for that sometimes I think your husband (or wife) can take a backseat.   I am going to offer up a challenge to all of you out there.   Can you pray for your spouse every day for a week?   Ask God to open up your heart, and you will see the power in praying for your spouse!

Here are 5 suggestions, or jumping off points if you will.   These are the things that I pray for my husband every morning while I am making breakfast before he leaves for work.

1.  Respect, Grace and Compassion.  I pray that God make me the kind of wife that always my husband would want.  A wife that respects him.  A wife that has grace when he makes mistakes as we all do, and a wife that is full of compassion.   I am not perfect, and there are moments where I am not filled with grace and compassion, but it is something I strive for every day.

2. To be the Man that God called him to be- The head of our house hold.  I believe it is so important to support your husband as God calls him.  I pray that my husband find the path that God has laid out for him, and that he has a peace about the decisions he makes every day.  I pray that God is at work in his heart, and his mind as he faces all his daily challenges and struggles.

3.  To know that he is loved no matter what.  I pray that my husband know that God loves him.  I pray that he understands the vastness of God's grace and God's abounding love.  I pray for him to be living from approval and not for approval. (A quote I stole my from my pastor.)  I also pray that he knows that I love him.  No matter what, no matter the circumstances.  

4.  In Thanks! How easy is it to forget to just simply thank God for your husband?  Spend a few minutes thanking God for the amazing man that he has given you!

5.  For his requests.  I often times talk to my husband about what he needs me to pray for.  The answers that are weighing on their hearts might surprise you!  Go ahead and ask what they want you to pray for.


I know that there is power in a prayerful spouse.   God is there and He answers.    Open up your hearts for the week and see what changes can happen!!



Thursday, May 23, 2013

Leaving babyhood

I am having a mom moment.   My head is filled with images of tiny sticky little fingers grabbing at my face, soft sweet smiles, babbling, and firsts.  First words, first steps, first foods, first kisses and first smiles.  I love the sweet cuddles I get when the baby is nursing, and the joy I have in being the person they go to when they need comfort.  Why the trip down memory lane? It is all slowly coming to a close.   I am leaving the stage of babyhood, and it could perhaps be forever.

Part of it I am sure has to do with the fact that I am slowly rooting out all the baby stuff in my house.   All the stuff is going to a good home with my sister who is just beginning the journey through the infant years with her first baby and my first niece!

Claire has finally finished nursing, she doesn't play with the baby toys any more.  She is not a cuddly sweet little baby anymore.  She is a busy, bright and happy toddler.  Emphasis on the busy.  She is all about baby dolls, and little people, and following her big sisters around the house.

I am enjoying every single stage that my kids have been at so far, and I know that Claire has many more milestones to reach.  But I am going to miss having a baby around the house.  Leaving this stage I have to admit did not come without tears, and without some sadness.  Ok, some of the things had a lot of tears. Nursing for one is something I will never do again and I admit I loved it.  I loved waking up in the middle of the night and having quiet, cuddly moments with all three of my girls.   I loved the peace and the quiet, and the close bond I developed with all of them.  

My journey is still open-ended as I am not sure if we will adopt, and if we do what age we will be adopting. I know we are not having anymore of our own kids.   I am not sure what God will bring into my life in the future, but I am excited to see what it has in store!

Cheers to you babyhood.  You were amazing.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Martha or Mary

When I was younger my mom made a worship cd.  She wrote the music.  She wrote the lyrics.  She rocked it out.  There was one song about Martha and Mary, and of course their relationship with Jesus.   I do not remember the entire song, or all the verses, but I do remember part of the chorus:  "Martha, Martha, Martha whatcha doin, no thanks I don't want that cup of tea."  The words were spoken by Jesus to Martha.    The song itself used to make my laugh in it's simplicity.   It seemed silly, and in my childhood was one of my mom's more light-hearted songs.  But when I take another look as an adult I can definitely feel the weight of my mom's words the words of Jesus calling me to sit at his feet.

In Luke Chapter 10: 38-42 it says:   " As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one.[a] Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

It is difficult for me to read this passage sometimes because I am not Mary in this scene.  I am not saying that I don't spend time with the Lord.  I read my bible, I spend time in prayer, and I do love quiet time alone with Jesus.   But, in the core of who I am, I am Martha.   If Jesus were to come to my house I would want to serve him coffee, and dinner.  I would want to make him comfortable.  I would want the house to be clean and I would want my kids to behave.  My first thought would not be to sit at his feet.

I am a busy person, and one of my main love languages is acts of service.  I love to serve my family, to serve my husband, to serve in the church, and to serve my friends.   I find it difficult to quiet my mind.   

What an incredible calling though that Jesus gives to Martha, and in extent to all of us.  Stop worrying and sit at his feet.  That is what is important.  Everything else will fall into place. 

Monday, March 4, 2013

Vacation or bust

Some of you might not know this, but my family and I do not go on a lot of vacations.  We have not had the opportunity to go on vacation just the 5 of us in a really long time.  To be completely honest, the last vacation that we took just with our family was when Bill and I took our oldest daughter to Atlanta when we got married.   Two kids, a house, a dog and a lifetime later we have just returned home from Frankenmuth!  We had a great time!

Side note:  I am so incredibly thankful for my family who so generously shares with us the opportunity to go with them to the family cottage in the summer so that we can enjoy a vacation with our entire extended family.  :)

Early Thursday morning, we threw all of our luggage into the car and made the hour and half drive to Frankenmuth Splash Village.  This hotel was amazing.  The hotel has an incredible splash pad with water slides and dumping buckets, etc.  The splash village had so many components that for the three days we were there we hardly ever stopped swimming and we never got bored.

I of course, having gone to Frankenmuth as a kid  wanted to go to the Chicken dinner and walk around in the little shops for a few hours to do some window shopping.   Our second day there we dragged the kids out of the pool and all got dressed and went into downtown.  The event started off a little rough because the baby was so tired and she kept attempting to crawl out of her stroller.     After about 40 minutes of window shopping we decided just to go to dinner because the kids were starting to whine and the baby was hungry.  

I have to admit in a perfect world, I would have made it to all the shops and made my kids try the chocolate cheese which tastes terrible.  Alas, the kids had different plans so we went straight to dinner.

At dinner the seams started to unravel.  Samantha began to cry.   She cried at the drop of a hat.  If she didn't like what was brought to the table she cried, if a crayon fell on the floor she was distraught, if Phebe even looked at her she had tears streaming down her face.    Phebe added to the fun by having an attitude about chicken.  If the chicken even dared to touch her plate, she would....  I don't know what would have actually happened if the chicken touched her plate.   Claire of course, seized the opportunity to add to the fun.  She grabbed anything within a 3 foot radius and chucked it on the floor, or at Bill.  She was throwing herself out of the booster seat and climbing the walls of the booth.   To top it off Claire got a bloody nose right there at the table.

As you can imagine my rope was unraveling fast.   We just wanted to go to one nice dinner.  Why were my normally well behaved kids acting like a pack of wild hyenas?

"We just can't have nice things."  I said to Bill as I burst out laughing.   He responded with something equally as funny and we laughed.  How could I not laugh?  We had officially hit that point on vacation where the kids are so tired that everything causes a meltdown and all they need is a good nights sleep.  We cleaned our stuff up from the table, and went back to the hotel.  On our way back, I reveled in the fact that I had now experienced another parenting moment.  An important milestone.  And I thanked God for giving me the humor to enjoy it.


Friday, March 1, 2013

Random Acts of Prayer

I love my mom.  One of the things that she taught me as a child was to pray fervently.   She prayed in the car, the shower, at the table, even in her frustration she prayed out loud.   This is one of the most important traditions that I hope to pass down to my children.   I admit that I am a fervent prayer.   I do not always, however pray out loud.  I think because my mother was such a powerful woman of God I have often times felt intimidated to pray out loud.   I am working on getting over this fear, however, and here are some of the ways I am trying to seize the opportunity to pray.

1.  Every time we hear a siren.  This one my mom passed down to me.  We always took a moment to pray for the emergency teams whenever we saw an accident, or heard some sirens driving by.

2.  Prayers of praise.  It is surprisingly simple to stop and pray a short prayer of thanks multiple times a day.  My kids love this one because we thank God for the good things that have happened all day.

3.  License plate prayers.  This is a new one that I absolutely love.  I pray for people that are driving with me.  It started a few weeks ago when I noticed the same license plate of a little old man who is always on route with me in the morning.  I see his car a few times a week and whenever I do I pray for the man who drives the car with license plate XXX XXX.  I have branched out and on every drive I pick one person I see and pray for them.  You never know what God is going to do with that prayer.  

4. Facebook prayers.  I pray for friends on facebook.  I pray for everyone who I see is having a bad day, or a struggle.  Sometimes I pray for someone who is having a great day, but facebook keeps us so connected why not use it for prayer?

5.  Praying out loud with groups of people.  One of the things I have learned is that praying out loud is more important than worrying about the words, or if I stumble over what to say.  It doesn't matter if I am the most eloquent and well spoken person in the room.  Lifitng up my voice to the Lord is enough.

6.  PUSH prayers.  This is a new idea that a friend gave me.  Basically, PUSH stands for Pray Until Something Happens.  I have a list of 5 PUSH prayers.  I pray for these 5 things constantly, and when something happens I update my list.  

Other ways you can pray:

Pray before meals, pray for leaders, pray for your children at schoo,l, pray for unborn children etc.   Just get to praying!!


Rejoice always,  pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus."

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Monday, February 18, 2013

Bliss

It is one of those calmer days.  The days that exist quietly in between all the days of chaos.  I love these days.   The kids got to stay in their pajamas all morning, and we made birthday pancakes.    I got to sit at the table with them and sip my coffee as I watched them laugh, and giggle and lick frosting off of their forks with wild abandon.  I can't sit all day because I am not built that way so after working out, (and showering so as not to offend my family) I got to enjoy my youngest being a hyena baby, and crawling all over me.   I was showered with kisses and she giggle and loved just being in her Mommy's lap.  Who wouldn't love that?

The kids and I got to go grocery shopping all together, and we all got to pick out our own box of cereal.  I of course, picked raisin bran because I love raisins, but the kids picked a lot more sugary options because I am a total softy and why not let them eat sugary cereal every once in awhile.  We took our time to look at the fish, and pick out some new food for the hamster.  The baby of course, tried to eat her socks.

We have played with friends, danced around the house, played some games, and now I am stealing my own personal quiet moment while the baby naps.   Decaf coffee, the ability to blog, and listen to my children playing happily.   This is bliss.


Saturday, January 26, 2013

Trust

Claire is sick right now and she is a sweet little cuddle bunny who is leaning on me, and cuddling with me all day.   She does get down in spurts, but she keeps looking over and reaching out to touch me and make sure that I am still there.   I love how sweet and trusting little babies are.  I am everything she needs right now.  There is nothing sweeter to a baby when she is sick than just sitting with her mom.   Claire is even still at the age where I am pretty perfect.   She doesn't know yet all the little flaws I have, and that no matter how hard I try I will never be the perfect parent.  I wasn't built to be perfect, but to be human.

I know that I will mess up, and I know that I will not always set the best example, but for now I am reveling in the fact that I am her place of rest.   I am eternally grateful that when I fail at what I do I know that she will always have a place of rest in God.    I love that I have, and she has, and everyone has the perfect parent.   A place of trust, and rest, that is unerring and unchanging that we can always turn to.

Wouldn't it be nice if as adults we could trust in God the way that a baby trusts in it's mother?  If we could depend on Him the way that Claire was depending on me this week? But it is so hard as adults to give trust.  We have so much baggage.  We think we can do everything on our own, and even when we trust that God can handle it we have days where we take everything back into our own hands.  There are always a few areas that we are not willing to let go.

Even the most devote, and the most engaged, and the most faithful hold things back sometimes.

God urges us to place everything in his hands, to trust.  Afterall, He knows what is best for us and He knows what our future holds.  So, what are you holding back?  What is it that you are still holding in your back pocket?  It is time to let it out and trust that it is safe to trust God with it.  Rest with God, your father, and trust that He has a plan for you.

 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  Jeremiah 29:11

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Resolution Round up

We are officially over a week into the new year. How are all the New Year's resolutions coming? Has anyone faltered yet? I did. I messed up my days and I got a day behind already on my new devotional book. I did catch up again once I realized my mistake, but I don't really care that I messed up. You heard that right. I don't care if I mess up. Everyone is going to fail. Not one person is going to go through the entire year, and keep their resolution exactly the way they planned it out. Am I right? Are you all human too??

Unless, you made a resolution not to make a resolution you probably have a goal this year. Maybe you want to workout more, maybe you are going to eat healthier, maybe you are going to reorganize your life, or reset your priorities. But January 2nd came, and despite the fact that you swore you wouldn't eat any desserts in 2013 you found yourself reaching for the leftover Christmas cookies. You couldn't resist the chocolate-gooey goodness of the cookies that your mom made. I honestly hope that no one has opted not to eat any desserts in 2013 because that thought makes me sad, but you get the picture. It is really easy to give in, to slide back into your old ways, and give up.

So, you messed up. You have already failed a day of your New Year's Resolution, and we are only a few days into the new year.

I am going to challenge you to give yourself a little grace. This year, define yourself not in how well you kept that New Year's Resolution the first time, but in how many times you picked yourself back up and kept going. We all fail. We all make mistakes, and we are not always perfect. In my case, I am far from it. What makes you stand apart from the people who give up because they fail? Getting back up and trying again.

What are you going to overcome this year? How many times are you going to keep trying? You can do it!!

Friday, January 4, 2013

It has to start somewhere

I have been sitting here trying to tackle a second blog for awhile now.  My first blog is just thoughts that run through my head, and ideas, and family.  This blog is more about my faith, my relationship with God, the steps I am taking, how Christ is speaking to me etc.   I am not sure why this seems daunting.  It is only a blog.  But it does feel daunting, and I think it is because this subject reaches to the depths of who I am, and reveals what weaknesses I have.  I have a lot of weaknesses.  What things Christ is fixing in me,  and sharing those thoughts is not always easy.

It is the beginning of a new year, and I am asking myself the question what is holding me back?  What am I fearing to ask of God.  Jacob, in Genesis 32, was fearful to meet up with his brother Esau.   As he waited he wrestled with God and he wouldn't let go until God had blessed him.  First, I was struck by the fact that Jacob is so stubborn.  He is fighting with all his might, holding God at arms length, wrestling all night.  Eventually, he gets to the point where he is just holding on.  I don't think this is necessarily a bad place to be, just holding on to God.  But God asks.  "What is your name?"  and Jacob is forced to answer.  He is forced to admit who he is, and what he has done.   It isn't until he answers that God can change him.  Change his name.

So, my question this year heading into a fresh start is what am I holding back from God?  What is it that I don't want to change, or hand over?   What am I holding back from really handing everything over to him?  I need to trust, to let it go, and to ask fervently in prayer what I need.   Only then can God really work within me.




Wednesday, January 2, 2013

A New Year's Blog

I love this time of year.  I love snow, and I love the cold.  I love that people get more cuddly, and that my kids want to stay in their pajamas every day.    I love how cold my kids cheeks get when they come in from outside, and I love making them hot chocolate.  Most of all this year, I love that my husband is working from home for the winter.  The extra time he has not driving to work has opened up a lot of opportunities for longer family dinners, breakfast together, and even yes a few quiet moments together on his lunch break when the kids are at school and Claire is napping.

Despite being warm and cozy in the house I have been going over my resolutions from the past few years and I decided I needed to make a new list.  First, I didn't even make one last year.  I know, I know, I shouldn't use being nine months pregnant with my third kid as an excuse.   But, that being said I was pretty much doing whatever I could last year to go into labor.  I didn't really have much time to think about what I was going to do with the rest of 2012.    I do have to say that I had the goal to "have a baby" on my New Year's list for several years and I actually did it!  That makes me smile.

My list of goals from 2011, I didn't accomplish everything, but I am getting on with most of them, and I am happy to announce that I have started off this year with a roaring success.  Yes, that is right.  I have made it two days.  :)

Here is my list of goals for the year:

1. Make it through my new devotional book, the whole year and on time.  This doesn't sound very hard, but I sometimes lose motivation, or interest and switch books halfway through the year.
2. Read at least 15 new books.
3.  Figure out how to use my new sewing machine.
4.  Finish one scrapbook.
5.  Be able to do 50 push-ups on my toes.  I can currently do 50 but not all in a row.  I can only do about 20-30 in a row on any given day and then I have to break before I continue.
6.  Enjoy the small moments with my kids everyday.
7.  Live with intention.
8.  Embrace my blogging.  Both this one, and the one that I secretly want to start in the back of my head.  The second one being reflections of my devotions, and journey with Christ.

:)  Happy New Year!