For the most part, I have been trying to combine two parenting styles Love and Logic and Grace Based Parenting. This week in my small group we asked the question "What are your children fighting with to get your attention?" My answer was clear. My "to do" list. I have a list, a long one for each and every day of the week. Let me make something clear. I am not saying that it is bad to have goals, or a list, or things to do. I think that is great. It is one of the only ways that I can keep my life straight.
The problem that I run into is that I am saying to my kids, things like "I will do that in a few minutes right after I finish ______." My kids scamper off, and then I just move on with my list and I don't always remember what they asked me. Or, I know some of you are with me here, I hope that they forget what they asked me. Because I would rather cross something else off of my list than play another game of Pretty Pretty Princess, or draw the outside of a wedding dress that they can color in.
Back to my challenge, this week I am trying to be more mindful and focus more on my kids and less on my list. This challenge has proved to be really difficult in certain moments. For example, this evening I was making cookies with Phebe and playing with Claire in the kitchen, and trying to cook Bill's dinner all at the same time. Samantha had chosen to go up to her room to play with her dolls. After a few minutes Samantha came back down needing me to fix something. My gut reaction was to tell her to leave it on my desk and I would fix it when I was done, but instead I grabbed the glue gun and plugged it in. I was not going to set her needs aside to finish what I thought I needed to do.
Well, you can guess what happened next: the cookies in the oven needed to be switched out, the glue gun started leaking on the counter, Claire started to try and escape her chair, and I was standing there trying to fix a brush for a doll. I needed an extra set of hands. The dinner burned and I started to laugh. I am clearly, clearly not good at setting things aside all the time. My moment of clarity came when Samantha hugged me excitedly and said "Thanks for fixing it right now momma even though you are busy." She saw that I was valuing her over what I was doing.
It is not all to do lists, however I had a great time today snuggling and reading books with Claire, making cookies with Phebe and just playing with Samantha. These moments were so easy, I loved it. I wasn't thinking about what I had to do. I was just enjoying my kids.
What have I discovered so far this week? It is a balance. I do need to get stuff done, and there are going to be times that I have to have the kids wait because I have to finish making dinner or because I need to switch the laundry, but sometimes it is also important just so set aside what is on my list to fix a doll brush. Even if that means that the dinner is burned.
Made me tear realizing I do the same thing with my two girls!!! I am going to try and focus more on them from now on and "burn" the dinner!!!!!
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