Don't Talk about your spouse to anyone.....Ever

I was talking to a group of friends and the subject landed on marriage and gossip.  I believe that gossip can kill relationships.  Gossip is toxic.  Not only to your marriage but to every relationship you have.  One of my friends has a rule.  When you are in a conversation that goes south, and everyone is talking about their spouses you don't... ever.   I know that the rule sounds harsh, wait no not harsh, hard to follow.  Extremely hard to follow.

Picture yourself standing with a  group of girlfriends, and everyone is chatting.   The conversation probably becomes a spiral of whose husband has done the least amount of housework, had the least helpful few days, or been the biggest jerk of the week.  I know that most women have been there.  Pretty soon everyone is wondering what is in the water? What is making all the men (or women) so terrible?

The answer is we are, we are the ones making them terrible.  We are the ones over-exaggerating, over-complaining and honestly over-exposing our loved ones.  We are gossiping.   I know I sound preachy, but I am guilty of this as well.  I am calling myself out just as mush as I am calling out everyone else.  It is really easy to get caught up in the negative thoughts, just to feel like you are relating to each other in the moment.

What kills me in this situation is that we are taking the person that we have chosen to love, and to honor, to respect, and to take care of and we are cutting them down.  Often times we are taking their weakest points, .  we are taking their biggest fears, we are taking their failures and we are exposing them to who ever will listen.  When in reality these are the points that we should be praying for, helping to lift them up, and protecting them from more pain.

 But what if we lived in a different world?   What if instead of cutting down our spouses we lifted them up?  What if instead of mentioning that load of laundry that went unfolded we thought about how hard our spouse worked that day.   What if instead of giving in to the gossip we chose to walk away from the conversation?

What if instead of judging every single move, we loved and supported instead?  After all, isn't that what we promised?